Blogorama

The Next Speaker, New Media.

2012-02-29T23:24:00.001+01:00

As some of you know, I earn my money working in the ICT business as a programmer. Well, that's how it was called when I started working in that line of work. Now I am a Software Designer. It's something like calling the cleaning lady an Domestic Engineer. The times they are a changing, I'm still me. The other day a friend and co worker of mine went to a seminar on New Media. Monday -- when he was at work again -- he told me he was impressed. I did some investigation. Why? Because I can!

The Next Speaker

He went to a seminar, organized by -- or endorsed by -- TheNextSpeaker. The Next Speaker is a network for -- you might have guessed it -- speakers. Companies can invite one of 'The Speakers' to inspire or inform their staff on a diversity of subjects. The Next Speaker is Dutch based and oriented (for the most part).

I ran a Whois search on the domain they are using and these are the results. Everything is registered to Boris Veldhuijzen van Zanten. He owns a few companies, all Dutch based. One of them is Blueshots. He also developed Circlecount, that now is getting to be the Google+ social media impact analyzer in The Netherlands. The site seems to based in Germany, according to the whois information.

BlueShots

If you would spend some time at the Next Speaker Site you'll find some things there that seem to form a pattern.

For one, each speaker introduces himself on his page on that site. That is not weird at all, because potential customers (companies) would like to get an impression of the available speakers and their individual expertise.

It's just the way they present themselves.

"Robert Gaal is a Dutch entrepreneur and a hacker since he was nine years old. When ending high school he skipped a formal education in favor of web development and design. Within 3 years he was awarded by BusinessWeek as Europe’s Top Young Entrepreneur." -- on Robert Gaal

"Alexander Klöpping (1987) is a loquacious nerd of the new generation. One of those people that cycles with Google Maps, reads books on his phone and always carries at least 5 gadgets." -- on Alexander Klopping

"Aral Balkan (@aral) is a designer, developer, author, teacher, entrepreneur, and performer; a Renaissance Geek with a passion for designing user experiences and a desire to make the world a better place through technology and oratory. He is a passionate User Experience advocate who tries to work on Stuff That Matters." -- on Aral Balkan

And here's the fun stuff: They all seem to be connected in the Social Media and Professional Sites like LinkedIn.

On those sites, but also on Twitter, Google+, NetHubs, Cofoundr, they flock together and recommend each other to the general public.

Ok. Let me say this: I -- in no way -- condemn the way and tactics they use. To me it's a clever scheme, build on mutual trust and understanding between otherwise unknown internet users, programmers, speakers and entrepreneurs. "I do something for you and you'll do something for me" mentality. "I recommend you and you'll recommend me".

So what can this mean for you -- as a blogger. Choose your friends carefully using social networks. Build trust. If you are one of the happy few that can arrange a scheme for yourself in a similar way as the people on The Next Speaker, you're a lucky man / woman. Combine forces, together with similar minds you'll be stronger.

Happy Speak'ing
//Jan

Whaatchoo. Blech...

2012-02-26T03:37:00.000+01:00

It finally got me. God knows I was fighting this. It was a heroic battle, I fought hard, but I lost. It was an uneven battle, I was numbered out. Me alone, standing my ground against billions of warriors. 300, the movie, is not getting close to depicting the hardship I'm going through.

Sneeze.

Now they have invaded me. They took over my body-control center from where I was used to push the buttons that made my body work.

The little fuckers that invaded me are pushing the wrong buttons now. When I want to go left I veer to the right and vice versa. I'm drunk. Well that's how it feels.

I just checked the coughing syrup for having alcohol in it, but no. Good.

The Groaning. I groan a lot now. Louder and more than before. And deeper, longer. It makes me sound like a 84 year old man, trying to bend over to pick up a quarter from the sidewalk.

"The common cold". That's what it's called, they say. But when I check the contents of the Kleenex after I have blown my nose, that -- for your information -- now resembles a overripe strawberry, it's far from common.

Think 'Jello', and you'll get the message. I'm averaging a box a day now and the woman at the checkout in the supermarket is looking at me in a funny way when I'm there to buy the bazillionth box of Kleenex.

There are muscles aching in my body I didn't know I even had. I think I can feel the little muscle of my left nostril is connected to my right earlobe.

I sound pathetic, I know.

Is there any fun stuff I can come up with while I'm wiping the monitor and my keyboard clean. I Aaatchooo'ed it full of little splatters of gunk that are hard to get of, they just smear and leave light greenish streaks.

Serious answer? No. Not so serious answer? Yes! Sneeze trivia.

#1 One sneeze propels up to 100,000 bacteria into the air at about 200mph (320km/h).
#2 Sneezing whilst driving a car will mean that you are driving blind for 100 to 300 feet.
#3 Body-builders are believed to be even more prone to colds. Their energy reserves go towards enlarging their muscles rather than defending the body against infection.

Oh well. I feel better soon. ;)

Happy Sneez'ing,
// Jan

Google+ and dealing with it.

2012-02-23T23:00:00.001+01:00

So... You finally decided to get your act together and -- again -- leap into the world of another nice Social Network. Voila, here's Google+. Actually Google+ (or G+ for short) has been around for a while now and I have been using it since September 21st 2011. So far I like it but from experience I know, that even Google doesn't last forever.

Google+

Despite what some believe, I think that Google is here to stay. Not forever of course, because nothing is forever. Butthe wiz-kids from Google sure have a good plan.

Slowly, but steadily, they are making the internet part of their core business. In fact they were already doing that, but over the last year their influence keeps growing. Social media (Google+) Office applications (Google Apps) Maps (Google Maps) Shared documents (Google Docs) SEO Tools (Google Analytics) Computers (ChromeBook) Communications (Google Phone) and more.

So for now: Google+ (No tips & Tricks...)

You have set up your Google account, added your family and friends, some co-workers ant there you are. Now what. You want MORE. How do you get more? Well if you're not doing work on your end, 'they' will find you. I mean LED lamp Manufacturers from China, dating agencies from Russia, Romanian candle manufacturers, Cheese sellers from The Netherlands, you name it.

Gouda Cheese

That's a handy little bridge: a Gouda Cheese has the same shape as Google+ circle.

Back to the circles we go. One of the things you can do to get more followers / friends is to use the search function in Google+. Just type in a plus sign '+' and a search term. You'll find tons of interesting things. There are more ways, just ermm... 'Google' for them. Yeah I expect you to do some of the work too! Try a search on "how to get more friends on google plus".

Participate. Start talking to people, interact, share your interesting, funny and / or brilliant things. Be bold and step out of the bushes.

React. If someone reacts to one of your shares, react to it. Be responsive and nice. People like to be taken serious.

Don't be afraid. As far as I know, no one ever broke the internet by just posting a reply to something. Honest. I swear.

Be forgiving. The internet is an international thing. Some people speak Chinese on Google+. Or Arabic, Dutch, Spanish, Swahili or whatever. English is not the most common language on earth.

Be Street Smart. Read the user profiles. A John Doe on Google+ might turn out to be a Lonely8InchStud from Toga, or Jane DeVries a Callgirl agency from India. My policy is: no profile pic and - more importantly - no profile equals no adding back.

Know what you post. Before re-sharing something be sure you know what is is about. Do not +1 because everyone else does.

Don't take things to seriously. If you are a woman sharing a personal picture better expect comments ranging from 'nice' to 'do you want to marry me' and everything in between. Some might even write you a personal copy&paste poem from the internet. Some joker could comment "Your eyes are like the ocean... Just as blue, just as deep, just as watery...".

Have fun. That's the bottom line in my opinion. But hell... I don't take myself seriously to begin with. So why should someone else?

Happy Plus'ing...
// Jan

Story of the Scared Little Man

2012-02-19T01:43:00.000+01:00

I'm not much of a story teller, but I an going to give it a shot anyways. Just a little story. Except this story is not fictional, it's for real. And happening in The Netherlands now...
Editorial note: The link to the Youtube link pointing at "Fitna - The movie" contains shocking images.

Geert Wilders

Once upon time there was a Scared Little Man. He was living in a little country in Europe. He was the leader of a group of other Scared Little People.

In order to make himself and the other Scared Little People feel safe and secure he made a devilish and simple plan. He promised the Scared Little People better homes and more income, freedom and privileges.

Because in the small country the Scared Little People lived somehow plunged into an economic depression he suddenly got the idea that he needed to find - or rather make - other people scapegoats.

So he decided that everything was the Muslim people's fault. And the Scared Little People believed him. He made promises to them, so they believed everything he said.

He went as far as to make a movie about the Muslim people that just was not anything like the truth, the movie was called Fitna. He was an expert in mass communication and thus the Scared Little People started to believe everything he said.

But he was not the only ruler in the little country. The other leaders started a campaign against him. So the Scared Little Man decided he needed new scapegoats for the bad things happening in the little country.

"Oh, now I know, I was wrong all the time", he said to his followers. "It is not the Muslim people that are causing all the bad things that are happening in our precious little country, it is the people from the east European countries that are coming here to take our jobs, stealing everything, are drunk all the time and rape our Scared Little women.". And -- once again -- the Scared Little People believed everything he said. The club of PVV (Partij voor de Vrijheid - Party for the Freedom) members grew in numbers, gaining momentum.

Now THAT'S SCARY

A long time ago, somewhere in 1934, there was another scared little man. He is directly connected to the death of 6,000,000 Jews. Just so you know.

Happy Scary'ing
// Jan.

Carnival De Hollanda...

2012-02-18T02:02:00.004+01:00

Carnival! We all have heard about the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro in Brasil or Carnival in Venice. Tons and tons of pretty, happy people celebrating the end of a period of lent. Like everything, Carnival celebrations come in all sizes and shapes...

Carnival In Venice

Perhaps the oldest carnival festivities are held in Venice, Italy. The carnival is famous for the masks people wear during the celebrations.

It is said, that people were wearing these masks so they could not be recognized by others, especially their spouses, when they were having some hefty lovemaking sessions on the streets of Venice. "Babe, I know you have seen me, together with Miss Ciabatta, but I swear it was not me..."

Oh well, I guess people back then were not so different then, compared to now...

Then there is the Carnival in Rio de Janeiro. Without any doubt the biggest carnival celebration in the world and the hottest, sweatiest dancing event.

People walk the streets showing of 'their stuff' parading in front of tens of thousands of spectators. The participants spend enormous amounts of time and money making the costumes. Well by the look of it they are not spending much on buying fabrics...

Carnival in The Netherlands

And then there is the Carnival Celebration in The Netherlands. Like most things it's celebrated completely different than in the rest of the civilized world.

February here is cold. And I mean cold with a capital 'C'. So most of the money spent here when it's carnival is on hot soup, gluhwein (a spiced up wine, served warm for optimal thawing effect) and miles of hot sausages. Oh and beer. Lots and lots of beer.

For me it signals the beginning of a new season, spring. My favorite carnival would be the Carnival of Rio de Janeiro, but that's because those costumes need very little wool to knit. Itchy! Ok, one more picture... ;)

Carnival de Rio Janeiro

Happy Carnival'ing
// Jan

Go by the Numbers?

2012-02-13T23:38:00.006+01:00

Going by the number. Sounds like a pretty decent way of taking care of things. Never a mishap, no unexpected things, pretty down to earth. But will going by the numbers help you, The Blogger?

Twitter Logo

I have to confess. I do it myself. Reading my number scores I have now. On Twitter, Google+, my Klout score, Technorati, LinkedIn and a couple more network sites.

Basically most of those sites take advantage of one of the more basic elements of human behavior. Competition.

People in general, like to compete and be good at what they do. Reaching a high score in whatever you are doing makes you feel good. That's why we need more Friends / Followers / Comments / Page-views / Unique Visitors / Referrers and more...
we want to be the best. Nothing less will do!

Ok. We have a common goal, but what does it really say? For an average blogger like me it may give some satisfaction, but - as much as I appreciate it - I get comments usually from a relative small group of readers.

Klout Logo

An average tweet on Twitter will result in 3 page - views. 1000 or so followers. A post in Google+ from my Google+ Blogorama page 3 more.

Not really much considering the total number of Unique hits Blogorama gets. Surprisingly the majority of the hits seems to be coming from regular Google searches on the pictures in this blog.

Whaddaya know. Maybe I just should stop writing and just collect and post pictures? Uhm... Nope, I like doing this to much. To bad I have about two hours per day to spend on the computer. I've told you before: I need 48 hour days.

Oh and a little note: The latest hype are the streaming video and picture platforms. Google will get bigger even more, Facebook will become the next MySpace, Twitter might join Google+ in its attempts to bring Facebook down.

Google+ Logo

Pinterest will grow to be a big player on the market. And we - the people - are the goods those companies need. Harvesting our curiosity and luring us with 'honest competition'. Big Numbers.

Going by the numbers. My friend Mark Zuckerberg will eventually become the victim of his self proclamed law, "Zuckerbergs Law":

"I would expect that next year, people will share twice as much information as they share this year, and next year, they will be sharing twice as much as they did the year before."

Ow well, there will be new Facebooks, Google Plusses and the like.
And you and me, to play the competitive number game again.

Happy SoMe'ing
// Jan

The Ultimate Girls Game

2012-02-11T02:16:00.000+01:00

Tonight I was watching the Comedy Chanel here in The Netherlands. I saw a guy do a stand up on Games. Computer games. He claimed he just knew how playing a game would be like if it was programmed by - God forbid - a girl...

Ultimate Girl Game

If you have been reading my blog, you would know by now, that sometimes I like to exaggerate a little bit to just have a little fun. For me that is. ;-)

Anyways... There is a difference in the way a girl would design a game as opposed to a guy. For instance, let's take a good old-fashioned Dragon Slayer game.

The guys version would be simple in its rules. You meet the boss-dragon in a game, chop it's head off, collect your 10.000 points and move to the next level. Simple. Just a little blood, some decent gore maybe. That's it! Needs just three buttons.

A game programmed by a girl would have the 'Emotional Surround Pad' with around 200 buttons neatly placed on there.

Meet the dragon, fire up the Emotional Surround Pad an talk for like 2 hours to the dragon in need for answers to questions like 'why', 'why not', 'but what', 'but what not', 'do these pants make my ass look bigger?' and many, many more.

Before you can actually slay the dragon you will have to collect 55 rolling pins during the game - you can ask your friends, if you have them.

The game in itself would be easier to play. Reaching the next level is easy. But there's a draw - back. In all the following levels you will be reminded that you slayed the dragon. Over and over again. Until you reach the end. Then the true story will get revealed. And you have to start over again...

I'm not saying nothing here.

We all know that there are some 'pretty' good female programmers out there. Somewhere... ;)

Happy Slay'ing
// Jan

SuperBowl, Dutch style...

2012-02-05T02:01:00.002+01:00

Ok. Just relax you guys. I know, it's *the* event of the year. The Super bowl. So get your Cheeto's out, your Bud, crank up the home cinema system, get your personalized defibrillator charged up and enjoy!

Oh, before you all start asking me questions about the Super Bowl... I am from The Netherlands and American Football is not that popular here. We have one team with some importance here, The Amsterdam Crusaders and they won the Dutch finals for the past 763 years or so - give a few years. They have a 2 girl cheer-leader group and they are Siamese twins, so they don't move to well. No throwing there. On the other hand, no face - plant FAILS. Bummer.

People over here are more into 'Voetbal' and there is where the confusion begins. Our 'Voetbal' is pronounced like Americans would say 'Football' where they mean to say our 'Voetbal' which actually is your soccer. See? Confusion! You still there? Well helooo...

Here's a pic of (try to pronounce this, it will break your tongue amongst other bodily parts.) 'Klaas Jan Huntelaar'. I have to admit, that he does not look like half the hero in a Football team, but he can trip a striker just 2 inches out of the penalty area, with a look on his face that spells 'Whut? What did I do? I didn't even touch the guy!' and get away with it.

He wears no protection whatsoever except his shin covers. No jock-strap cup, no helmet, no padding, no nothing. Man against man and nature. I believe he's a smoker too and drinks a couple of beers in halftime. And if he does not, he should, because winning is in his blood.

Oh well, it's just a game. The celebration of the Super Bowl will be one of utter joy and drunkenness for the winners and an increase in suicide attempts for the losers. Well, I can't really watch the Superbowl Live here in The Netherlands, but I am sure as hell going to enjoy the on-line speak previews of the commercials. And for the half time show, I'm hoping for a new and improved nipple slip. Just cuz. ;P Oh, and it's from either Madonna, or the 'we can't sing' girls from M.I.A.

Happy defibrilat'ing
//Jan

[Update] 02/08/2012 Told you they we're going to do 'something'...

Hunny? I breaded your cat!

2012-02-04T03:35:00.000+01:00

Yes, it's official now. People are weird. At first I thought I read things wrong or my brain just went into a semi - permanent DoubleU Tee Eff mode. Should we start worrying about ourselves?

Breaded Cat

I saw it on Facebook the other day. A picture of a cat, his face stuck through a piece of bread. That's it!

Why? I mean I don't see anything wrong with sticking bodily parts through holes -- but who came up with this?

My guess it came from a couple of friends being drunk or high on some controlled substance. "Hey dude, *does Beavis imitation* let's stick your cat's head through a slice of bread, take a picture of it and put it on the internet. It's going to be *chuckle* awesome, dude!".

And... It's spreading like wildfire, going viral! TNT Magazine has a complete page about this issue. The breading cult had it own Facebook page with 15,500 followers. Can you imagine? It made it on Colberts. Breading is going to be one of the short lived internet viral things. Now whats going to be next? Here are some examples.

Elephant Boating (Putting the face of your elephant through the bottom of a rubber dinghie).
Dog Doughing (Putting your dog's face through fresh, preferably homemade dough)
Lazy Holing (Putting a mouse's head through the hole in an doughnut - for lazy people, the hole is already in the doughnut)

This last option gave me some funny thoughts, but I'll keep them to myself.

Breaded Cat

Anyway... If you happen to like those kind of pictures go search for them on the internet real quick, because - before you know it - all material will be copyrighted, banned in the country you live in, or disliked by the majority of your friends.

Then you'll have a dilemma. Do I like breaded cats more than I like my friends? Tough one.

Oh, one more thing. This viral thing gives a whole new dimension of what they call "an in - bread cat". Happy chucklin'

Happy Bread'ing too!
// Jan

The Big Journey

2012-02-01T21:37:00.004+01:00

Ok, it's official now. Winter has finally set in. Just when a few days ago the flowers here showed their first sign of 'waking up', the Wicked Winter decided to send some cold air blowing in from the east. And here the East means from Russia and that means cold as in "Baby? could you hand me the tweezers? I have to go pee..." cold. The people living in the north of this country are getting really excited. Why?

Tweezers

While the rest of our population is just hoping for the cold to move to a different country - preferably Belgium - the people up north are just about to get all hot over 'The Big Journey'.

The local newspapers up there are full of it. Articles saying 'The Ice Still Very Dangerous', which is not all that surprising, because it has been freezing there just 3 days now. What would you expect? 20 Inches of solid black ice, strong enough to hold a herd of elephants making triple Ritbergers all day long?

Elfsteden tocht

Uhm... Nope. It's all about a ice skating race. Some figures? No? Well to bad, I'm going to give them anyway.

The tour, almost 200 km in length, is conducted on frozen canals, rivers and lakes between the eleven historic Frisian cities: Leeuwarden, Sneek, IJlst, Sloten, Stavoren, Hindeloopen, Workum, Bolsward, Harlingen, Franeker, Dokkum then returning to Leeuwarden. The tour is not held every year, mostly because not every Dutch winter permits skating on natural ice. About 15,000 amateur skaters participate. A starting permit is required. Further more, in each city the skater must collect a stamp, as well as a stamp from the three secret check points. The skater must finish before midnight. If you arrive after midnight it counts as a non finish.

Now that's tough. I wonder what those people do when they have to pee in the middle of having that race. Pee their pants? Because I think tweezers won't do any good then.

Happy Skat'ing,
// Jan

It's about Women. Period.

2012-01-29T22:35:00.001+01:00

Today I was fooling around on the internet doing my rounds as I call it. Once in a while I stumble upon something that catches my attention in a funny way...

Sh*t Girls Say On Their Period.

I know women think men understand shit about them when they are on their period and I think for the most part they're right. But at least some are trying to get along with them in the few days per month that are truly a gift from God. I got smacked over the head with a frying pan just now. It made a funny noise. Gawd, my ears are still ringing and I cant focus anymore...

So here's my tribute to all brave men and - especially women - out there. You are AWESOME.

Happy Period'ing... *SMACK*, I knew this was coming... Thanks sweetie
// Jan

Going Places!

2012-01-26T23:45:00.003+01:00

Going places. I really want to do that more, as I state in my Google+ profile. Only if and when I grow up. Because that's going to take a while, I'm afraid. Discovering new cultures, see and feel what makes people tick. I have been to a few locations but I want more...

Ok... confession time. At work - I am so going to regret telling you guys - we have a teddy bear. We all have to take Teddy [Editorial remark: We can not reveal his true name or identity] with us on our holidays and post pictures of him (yeah, It's a him, we checked...). This little guy went places! Here are a few of his holiday pics. We can only show the 'decent' ones, that have no nudity in them...

Scheveningen, The Netherlands. Fishing Harbor

The Hague, The Netherlands. With Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet

Hardinxveld Giessendam, The Netherlands, Center of the country

The Hague, The Netherlands, at work, Teddy Planking!

Artilery Museum, Ter Heijde, The Netherlands.

Antwerpen, Belgium

Ter Heijde, The Netherlands

South Carolina, USA

Georgia, USA

Florida, USA

Florida, USA, Bear and Florida

Pensacola Beach, FL, USA

White House, Washington DC, USA

Chile, South America

Surinam, South America

Sweden, Europe

Laos, Asia

Teddy's New Girlfriend.

The Moon, Out There...

Jealous, I tell you. He gets to see all the best places and finest people. Oh well, I will too. If and when I grow up. Where have you been?

Happy Teddy'ing
// Jan

Are you blogging for a niche audience?

2012-01-21T13:39:00.002+01:00

If you are a blogger, reading this post because you just happened to stumble upon it, somewhere on the internet there is a pretty good chance you sometimes struggle getting your subject just right for the audience you intended it for. But who are you writing your stuff for?

Writing

Probably you are trying to get your mind set on finding subjects YOU think your audience will like. Learn something from or be of help. If you are blogging for a niche audience that can be hard sometimes.

A niche stands for "The subset of a market on which a specific product is marketing." (Wikipedia). So that means you are focusing your specific product (your blog) on a subset of a specific market.

That leaves not much room to play with. I mean how many people can you get interested in - for instance - endless stories about the benefits of using specially designed pencils for left handed people that only like the color red. Making things pretty hard on yourself. But there is more!

Scrutinize!

So you're writing your blog - already narrowed down to a very specific subject. Then there's the visitors of your site.

I have gone through all the comments made on subjects I wrote about on this little blog of mine and I had to conclude that over 90% of the comments were made by fellow bloggers / bloggettes. Weird? Nope. Because your average visitor will not have a clue about why they should react. They've read your post, one mouseclick and you are gone and forgotten. "I have read it 'somewhere' on the internet". Poof... Gone...

In effect you are writing with your fellow bloggers looking over your shoulder to see if you doing what they expect. That and having a niche audience makes things not easier.

Zoom Lens

What I am saying is, it's a good thing to zoom out once in a while to see if you can come up with more things, subjects to write about.

It will broaden your blogging horizon and maybe take you to a next level of... of... whatever you'd like.

When you like cars and blog about it, try to keep it general. Like a 'Car Blog', instead of a 'Mercedes Benz A160 Blue Efficiency 3 door hatchback Blog'.

There are tons of ways to make things for you - as a blogger - more interesting and for your readers too! You might even make some new friends too? Ya never know. ;)

Blogging is, and should stay, a fun thing to do!

// Happy Niche'ing

Social Media 60 Years Ago

2012-01-18T20:33:00.001+01:00

Social Media, or SoMe or - as some refer to it - SM has become a part of our daily lives. Some of the biggest players around are Twitter, Reddit, Facebook and Google+ to name just a few. It's all about networking, fun, hobby, trying to make a few bucks and every imaginable reason you can think of.
Trying to keep up with it all can be a hassle.

Speed! Things move fast. What's HOT now is Stone Cold 24 hours later. Internet makes it possible to spread the word (whatever that may be) at the speed of light.

Rosie the Riveter

60 years ago there was no internet. The media to get your message across to a wide audience were radio and the newspapers. That was it. Or... Propaganda using bill boards with posters made by specially trained artists, like J. Howard Miller. He made this one for the War Production Coordinating Committee in 1943. This work was called 'Rosie the Riveter'.

In a way those posters can be compared with Twitter. Whatever your message is, you have to do it in a short, catchy statement. Rosie says "We Can Do It!". Sure sounds familiar to me, Mr. Obama.

There are plenty of examples to find on the internet. Some are so well known that everybody who has not been living under a rock since World War I has seen them, in one form or another.

Uncle Sam I Want You

What about this one:
Uncle Sam calling the men for fighting the war (WWII) to the joined forces of evil, Germany, Italy, Russia, Japan, to name a few.

I Want You In The Army Of Love

So does she, but for completely different reasons. Sex sells. It does. Bigtime. I'm saying it's a good tactic to spice your tweets. Not to the point of profanity, but in a catchy and fun - tongue in cheek way.

I once wrote a post with a slightly humorous twist about a little road trip my sweetie and me had from SC to FL and we stopped at a resting place. I was describing the difference ways men and women use the bathroom.

I promoted that post on Twitter.

*Blogorama* Blog entry: Our stop at a restroom on our trip from SC to FL

Nothing happened. Then I rephrased it:

*Blogorama* Blog entry: Everything you've always wanted to know about the differences between boys and girls.

Presto!

Happy SM'ing
// Jan

SOPA / PIPA Blocked

2012-01-17T23:09:00.001+01:00

The day LOLCats died. SOPA will end the internet as we know it.

Yesterday, January 17th 2012 I locked my site down, because I felt part of the community of internet users, and more specific bloggers, writers and other free minds. I have locked the site down on January 17th 2012, 18:00PM CET (Central European Time).

As I'm writing this, it's January 18th 2012, 18:00 CET (Central European Time). The time difference East Coast, USA - Central Europe is six hours. So my 24 hours site lock-down ended.

I'll keep the specific blocking page in the archives - published, as a reminder. I have a strong feeling this was only a prelude to things to come.

The internet has grown to a playground of free - thinkers, a force to be reckoned with by governments. As in any community there are people that play by the rules and some that don't. I am not suggesting I never done anything wrong on the internet, like borrowing a picture or downloaded a program of which I should or could have known it was not a legal copy.

The truth - and main reason - for acts like PIPS and SOPA are threats of cyber wars from 'abroad', wherever that may be. A cyberwar can be fought and won by relative small countries. Internet- and computer knowledge is for hire. Investments are small, and there's no nuclear fall-out. Just putting in my 2 cents worth.

SOPA Act must be stopped.

Unhappy SOPA'ing
// Jan

Prostitution in The Netherlands

2012-01-16T21:33:00.001+01:00

The Netherlands, the country I live in, is famous - or depending how you look at things - or notorious for it open mindedness. It's only a small country with 17,000,000 inhabitants, so we as a country do not have a great impact on the rest of the world. All this open mindedness... Is that a good thing?

Red Light District Amsterdam

The majority of prostitution is concentrated in and around the four big cities in The Netherlands. Amsterdam, Rotterdam, The Hague and Utrecht are well known for the industry. An 'industry' is not the nicest way to describe it, maybe, but estimates range from $ 500,000,000 to $ 800,000,000 a year in revenues and that justifies it calling an industry.

Amsterdam is famous for it's "Red light District". It is a relatively small portion of the city, where sex is for sale. As - with almost anything in The Netherlands - it's well organized. Of course there are cases of abuse and violence. And - that could be an important issue: It's legal.

But because the fact that it is all concentrated in a more or less confined area it's more controllable. The woman working there have their own union, receive medical care, have their own council representative in the city of Amsterdam's, and they pay taxes. Just like you and me. Many of them own their own business.

Street Prostitution

It makes one wonder. Maybe it's just the best option to legalize a once forbidden way of earning money, in order to have better control over it.

The way I see it is kinda like this. Tell a kid to not smoke and it will start smoking. Say nothing or even say it's ok to smoke then the kid might not start smoking at all.

Maybe a serious subject this time. But trust me, if you ever have the chance to go see for yourself you will have a ball there... It's not degrading in any way and the whole atmosphere is fun and good times.

If you get tired of watching (window shopping, literally) the girls you can always get a kick out of the groups of Japanese tourists that swarm across the small streets, clicking their brand new Canon's to an orgasm of pictures. Take them back home and show them to mamma-san.

Happy P'tu'ing
// Jan

My Job Interview...

2012-01-14T23:05:00.001+01:00

A couple of days ago I had my job interview. It has been a while since I last had one. I have been working for the same company since 1976. That has eons ago, to put things in perspective: that was the year the Cray-1 supercomputer was introduced. And here I am sitting, waiting for my job interview...

I was not nervous. Why should I feel nervous. I'm good at my current job, I've got a good job record, good education and years of experience.

Still I felt just a little bit uneasy about the whole situation. Mostly because the neck-tie was bothering me. I had one laying around somewhere at home, I had to search hard to find it.

I'm more a T and jeans type of guy, I guess.

"Welcome, Mr. Barends." Oh great, they got my name wrong. That's never a good sign. "Just after we asked you for your job - interview, some of our internet experts did some research on you and we're kinda puzzled. They searched for your name and the search came up with 183,000 hits in Google. There was so much info about you on the internet our technicians cannot make a job inquiry advice. Can you explain that?" "Well..." I replied "I just have been around on the internet for a few years plus Google Panda and the new Google +1 search algorithm helped me a little in hiding my info in a shitload of crap info on me. How smart is that, huh?". They looked puzzled.

"Everything I tweet in Twitter will be cached and will end up in numerous search results, thus multiplying the number of search results."

If you are a head - hunter for a company, or just plain old stupid curious like me you could try one of these alternative search engines. You might be surprised what can be found. Some of it you may like and some of it you wished you had never written down...

Pipl A people search engine.
SocialMention A real time Social networks search tool.
Spokeo A people search tool.
KGBPeople A search engine for Networks and Video's
Yasni A search tool for people, jobs and other resources

Happy Hunting.
// Jan

Lorem Ipsum...

2012-01-12T21:11:00.002+01:00

Bloggers, writers and anyone working with text often have to check how a certain amount of text will look on their blog or in their book. For instance when they have to decide to post to their blog with a substantial amount of text wondering how that will look on their blog. Or a writer who wants to know how a 10 paragraph 2,000 words text looks like.

Here's Lorem Ipsum to the rescue. It is a 'sample text' to get a feeling about larger texts, What it really means you got to have finished a 5,000 small essay by the end of the day.

Or you want to show off a proposal for a website and need sample text to get a better understanding how the website is going to look like, textwise.

Contrary to popular belief, Lorem Ipsum is not simply random text. It has roots in a piece of classical Latin literature from 45 BC, making it over 2000 years old.

Scoot on over to WikiPedia for some more info about this subject.

Yup, It sound like a pretty 'dusty' subject, hard to swallow, like all dry matter. Try dry-wall. Now that's dry.

Here are some websites you can get your working sample texts. It's all pretty self-explanatory.

The official Lipsum Website A plain text generator, suitable for regular moods.
Filerati, Offers filler texts from books you can choose and lets you 'grab' 1 to 10 paragraphs.
Malevole, Offers Lorem Ipsum texts in English up to 5 paragraphs.
Slipsum, Samuel L. Jackson Like texts.
Bacon Ipsum, A meatier Lorem Ipsum text generator, multiple paragraphs.
Lorem Ipsum Fail... Guess 'someone' forgot 'something'... ;)

Now git! And get your own. Try to make yourself a Lorem Ipsum text by using just the names of the objects you see where you are right now. Could be fun.

"Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, keyboard con monitoret de mouse. Avet pencillium a maximus lamporta da ceiling-fan. Rounda, Rounda estem con Sun et Moon circlem fasteret...". See?

Happy Lorem'ing.
// Jan

Going for Mobile!

2012-01-10T21:39:00.002+01:00

So you're blogging along, minding your own business. You're satisfied with the lay-out, the colors, the way the pictures look on your pretty 22 Inch monitor. Cool beans! You've done it! A killer website. You even did go through the trouble of trying out different browsers and different screen resolutions. Everything is looking cool.

Monday morning - when you're not at your best - a colleague walks over to your desk. "Your site looks like crap!". What?

Unless you have been living under a rock for the last ten years or so, you know that more and more people use 'mobile devices' to browse the internet. There are more mobile browser types around for the mobile platforms than for the PC or Mac.

It's very convenient to browse when you're on your way to work to send some Tweets, check mail, Google+ for a bit and - if you're a real daredevil - try to post something on FaceBook.

So how does your site look on a mobile device? Just check out some of the links below.

These might as you to run java on your PC or do other things you don't like, but in general they don't offer you to apply for a 'free month's supply of toilet - paper' giveaway, or apply for a one year subscription to Playboy slash Playgirl magazine, depending on your gender or personal preferences...

I'll post them in a randomish order. Try some of them and see if your colleague was right about how your site looks on his IPhone. Crapolio! Mine did anyways...
Opera browser for mobile devices, version 4
Opera Mini browser for mobile devices
IPhone 4 simulator + browser
IPhone test site
See how your website looks on an IPad

Additional tool:
W3.org Mobile website validator

Happy Mobile'ing
// Jan

Google Friend Connect Discontinued.

2012-01-09T20:28:00.001+01:00

Google announced earlier that their service GFC 'Google Friend Connect' will be discontinued as from March 1st 2012. The official announcement can be read here. Guess they are in 'The spring cleaning mode', because they decided to close down more of their services like Google Bookmark Lists.

I have always used Google Friend Connect to link up with starting bloggers, many of them can be found at Bloggers.

As much as possible I mailed my 'followers' and friends on Google Friend Connect by e-mail. For me that was relatively a small task, but I have seen websites with 5000+ followers. They have their work cut out for them.

I switched to Google+ for my main Social Media platform. Go with the flow, things weren't always better 'the old way'. Time is moving!

So... If you still want to get the latest from Blogorama (or me) there are several options left:
#1 Circle me at the Google+ Blogorama Blog Page .
#2 Circle me at the Google+ JanBierens Page.
#3 Follow me on Twitter: @JanBierens.

Thanks for understanding.

Happy Google+'ing! I believe I just invented a new verb. ;)

// Jan

Evolving Insights on Copyright...

2012-01-07T09:02:00.001+01:00

A few years ago I bought a new computer. It was nothing special, because that's the tool I need to fill up part of my time-of from work. It was - I think - one of the latest models sporting a floppy - drive. Yup that's right, we're talking ancient here. My youngest said "Oh cool, dad! You bought a computer with a floppy burner! Awesome!"... Little shit.

Copyleft Temple

Last Friday, ate work, someone found the time to make the artwork as can be seen on the picture on the left.

The name of the artwork turned out to be 'Copyleft', because this symbolizes the end of an era. 'There's no more copying on floppies to do'. Obsolete. Gone. Moved to ICT the heavens. Amen. Ashes to ashes and all that.

Yesterday, the same day for the ones paying attention, something caught my eye. It was a little article I was reading about Kopimism [Their website]. Kopimism is a belief, well actually a recognized religion. that fully supports a world, with no copyright and file sharing is the norm. It was founded by an 19 year old Swedish student and a friend. Slashdot had something to say about the whole thing too,as did NewScientist.com. With all those religions, it's getting tougher and tougher to decide to which heaven you want to go if you die.

CTRL+C and CTRL+V are their holy symbols and there's no digital copyright. Perfect world, you might think. But what if someone downloads your whole website, and puts it on line in their name, would you still believe Kopimism is the perfect belief for you?

I don't think so. If I would ever support a certain belief belief there should be my kind of heaven connected to it. Something like 24/7 HD Sports, or 69 virgins waiting for me... Oh wait, that wouldn't work. "No Jan, I'm not ready for that, yet. You'll have to wait... and wait... and wait...". I'd rather have a heaven with one or two girls, about my age, that know what they're doing.

Happy Copying

// Jan

Facebook Friend? Pfft.

2012-01-03T09:12:00.004+01:00

For the few that have been reading my blog over the last months it might be clear. Facebook and I have a 'love - hate relationship' and we probably always will. It's just like that good friend you like but don't, because he / she is telling me what I should do, because they want something done. I pisses me off sometimes. If you want it, do it yourself. If you can't I will do it. If I can help, let me know, but try it yourself first.

Facebook, still the number one social network #1, followed by Twitter, LinkedIn. Google+ now rapidly growing to be the next #1.

I'm probably overreacting because I'm still a bit furious at the Facebook people. Like they are the people who invented social networking in the first place and tell me what I can do or can't do. Don't worry, I have my morals and I do not want the internet overflowing with child porn, sex (well...) discriminating sites, illegal stuff and all that. But just don't tell me what I can or can't do! Darnit.

Here is the story. I do not support the SOPA act. I do not approve of all sorts of things going on on the internet, but I see a dangerous situation develop. In all honesty the act closes the US down. Locks it from the wold (yeah, kiddo's there's more than just the ole US alone). Here's the list of opponents and supporters

Now wait... Facebook is on the opponents list, WTF? Yes they are. Now what's my point? Facebook and I agree for a change. NO. I posted a link to an article on SOPA and changed my timeline cover picture to this one.

I posted it to let my friends know how I feel about the whole situation and posted a link to the CNET site, to inform about what SOPA can mean for the average internet user.

So far, so good. The next day I logged in to Facebook, but I got my wrist slapped. I had added some friends lately (15 tops) because of my blogging activities. Meeting new people, with no relation to me personally other than from the blogosphere. Facebook claims that's not what Facebook is for. "Add only people you know, or have multiple shared friends with, with other friends.". So I can't befriend my long lost school-buddy when I find him / her on Facebook? Again a WTF. Tell me to left and I will go right, tell me to jump and I'll freeze. If I wanted to befriend my ex that would be my decision and she could decline if she wanted.

I tried to re-share my own friggin' post again, publicly. Now Facebook won't let me share it - to anyone! It's just sitting there now, in my own timeline.

It was posted to my FB friends, who - normally - have to say something about anything, but I got not one like, comment or re-share.

Some didn't even see the post and one or two claimed they tried to reply, but could not.

I know it's just a little thing that happened, but I just can't stand those kind of things. There is either freedom, within the borders of common sense and values - not even necessary mine - but come on, we're adults, aren't we?

The Stop SOPA picture is back on my timeline, now all that's left is to get the Facebook *Blogorama* page up and running again, Hootsuite informs me that the connection for the *Blogorama* page has been reset by Facebook for security reasons. I can't wait to post this post on facebook. ;-)

[Update 01/03/2012 - 17:57] Got an email from NetworkedBlogs about the failure to syndicate my blog to the people at Facebook:

We detected an error while trying to publish one of your posts to Facebook.
Post: http://blogbiertjuh58.blogspot.com/2012/01/facebook-friend-pfft.html
Blog: Blogorama
Target: http://facebook.com/profile.php?id=1564913577xxxxx

I got to fix that to, on top of the HootSuite trouble accessing my Facebook Blogorama page. Heh.

[Update 01/04/2012 - 22:50] After logging in to Facebook this evening I got a friend request / confirmation, right after I posted a page from my Blogorama Fanpage on Facebook.

I was pretty sure I didn't add that person to my friends list. At the same time I saw a bunch of friend requests sent from the same person to - what seems to random people. A shitload of friend requests. Right when I (see in the same screen shot) promoted another page publicly...

I checked out the page and ended up here. It did not seem very strange or something, but I got the feeling something was not right. I went back to the Facebook Home page on my account.

When I returned to the Facebook Home page on My Facebook account I saw this message passing by. Coincidence? I don't know. You're not stupid. You know it's not coincidence.

Woman, New York [According to my new 'friend's profile page], Teller Machine, Peep Hole. Can't say those people lack a sense of creepy humor.

I decided to block this person, so I went back to his / her page. Looked quite different all of a sudden. Wierd.

Blocked / gone. Never add a blonde girl to your friend list even if you didn't ask to be friends. As a matter of fact that goes for adding friends on Facebook as a whole.

People tend to disclose a shitload of personal information on Facebook, including addresses, phone numbers, family names, connections, schools they went to, what things they like. Everything but the kitchen sink. I'll survive. I know what I'm doing. Will you survive?

Happy Facebooking.

// Jan

Exit 2011, Enter 2012

2011-12-31T10:41:00.003+01:00

Well that's how it goes, normally. "Le roi est mort, vive le roi". The year ends and a new one is knocking on the door. Zeitgeist has a habit of making movies about that, the year in 3 minutes.

2011 Has been a year of some big changes for me and everything is going good. I've met some wonderful people on the - so called - impersonal Internet. Times are changing, and so do we.

There are some big developments on it's way, that change the way we communicate, what we can and may say. Some acts in progress will be called back and Social Media will become a main way of interacting with people and companies. I say "Cheers! Bring it on!"

Happy 2012, everyone!

// Jan

Sarcastic Christmas

2011-12-26T23:06:00.000+01:00

Christmas. I like that time, the Holiday season, spending time together with friends and family all that. I do, but some don't. To all you Don't People: This one is for you!

(...) Pathetic. That's how I think about it. The whole idea of the Holiday season. Holi-day? Holy? Get it? Should it not be a more humble way of celebrating the grief of people long gone? No, instead we send each other Glittery Christmas Cards with pretty pictures resembling Santa on it.

Aunt Flo slaved her butt for two nights in a row, Ho, Ho, Ho and that's not her line of work. No. she scrap - booked the whole thing together using the third edition of "Scrap - booking for dummies" and she skipped the chapter that covered "When to stop making it look more pretty".

"Oh, maybe a little birdie there and there, and a rabbit and oh a little Bambi is always a good way to make people weep of joy and happiness...". Happiness, my ass as she sprinkled a hand full of glitter over the card to make it even more pretty.
Even on - line people are sending personalized e - cards. So Easy! [Click] Choose design [Click] To: All friends. [Click] Done. 296 friggin' infected mails sent. Ugh. "Send this to all your friends. If you get let than one back: commit suicide, 3 or more: You are loved a little. 5 or more: You will get a private encounter with either Vin Diesel or Vin Diesel, regardless of your gender.". Great. Good I swallowed a fork at dinner.

Yesterday I had to explain some kids how Santa managed to deliver the presents to 2.8 Billion kids over the world, ate all the cookies and drink the milk of each and every one of them and they all got presents. Like every 10 year old is perfect. Yeah right.

They are nothing like little missy 'look at me being all purdy, pretty and innocent' on the picture on the right. Just look at her face. Greed and evil personified...

She would not surprise me when she told me she bullied some 14 year old kids to hand over their hard earned money delivering the morning paper. I mean... Just look at her. 'They're mine... all the presents are mine... I had to kill Justin and Mary for that, but they're mine... All mine'...

Look ate her some more and her head will turn green, rotating 360 degrees and vomiting green oozing stuff at you. She never misses, Miss perfect.

It's going to be new years eve in a few days. Now that's a joy full event. Maybe I'll make a on - line course on how to make a pipe - bomb the MacGyver way. Using just a few items of illegal Chinese firework, 2 Q-tips and a marshmallow.

Happy New Year!

// Jan

Santa is Preparing [NORAD]

2011-12-24T22:41:00.003+01:00

A quick peek at my desktop clock learns me it's 22:22 PM. I guess most people by now have gone to the stores and got everything in the house they need. What about Santa?What's he doing, where's he at?

Some uber-geeks at NORAD made a site where you can track Santa on his way to the little kids.

All so sweet and nice. You can track the big guy using a Google Earth API plugin. Coolios! Plus it keeps the little rugrats busy for a while.

Well at least we know they have a sense of humor there at NORAD. It just proves they are thinking about a lot more than just incoming missiles alone. I mean... NORAD stands for North American Aerospace Defense Command led by General Charles H. Jacoby, Jr.

So, you better watch your chimneys over the next few nights, because you never know what's going down. When the Military are getting involved in Christmas Feelings you might get a rocket down your chimney.

Just remember I warned you!. Merry Christmas.

// Jan

You... You... Geek!

2011-12-21T23:35:00.003+01:00

The other day I was thinking about communicating on the ole internet. That and watching a BBC documentary series about the almost pre - historic days of communication using BBS (Bulletin Board System). Well if you remember that, your a digital fossil. If you don't... Well... ;)

I have been on the internet since the 'early days', let's say somewhere in the late seventies. Over the years I used some programs for on-line communication. All dial-up at that time and I remember - after buying and installing my first 14K4 modem - my phone bill rocketed sky-high. 800 guilders I had to pay. It was either being on-line (kinda sorta) or eat. Well that was an easy choice. I lost 10 pounds.

Yeah life was tough in those days. Like I said, dial-up and that was as slow as trying to push shit through a funnel. Well you know what I mean.

Whoaaa. Decision time. I would find a ASCII art picture of a sexy girl and download it. But 79 Kilobytes... "Sheesh, that will take hours. And I have to print it out on my precious daisy wheel printer..." The sound it made, I can still hear it. A erie screeching sound, that was capable of tearing your eardrums to shreds. Well *if* you still had eardrums left after listening to Yes on my DIY mono basss - reflex speaker.

So... What have you been using for on-line communication? If you have heard of one of those programs, give yourself 1 point and if you actually used it ad another point. So, what's your ancientness factor? ;).

Buletin Board System using a Telnet connection. Or PuTTY. [Max 2 points].

IRC Client console [Max 2 points].

XIRC Windows client [Max 2 points].

ICQ. [Max 2 points]

ICQ Surf [Max 2 points]

AOL Instant Messenger [Max 2 points]

Yahoo Messenger [Max 2 points]

MSN Messenger [Max 2 points]

Skype [Max 2 points]

Facebook [Max 2 points]

Twitter [Max 2 points]

Google+ [Max 2 points]

Phew. So... what's your score?

// Jan

Happy Hollidays

2011-12-17T17:11:00.002+01:00

Well. It's about that time. Time to get all marry and cheerful and - for the first time in a long time - it's going to be a REAL Christmas for me.

So. In short...

Merry Christmas to all of you and the ones you love.

[Editorial note:] The picture on the left is for the male readers of my blog. Next year... I'll come up with something different.

I'm already thinking about Google search queries like 'XXX Santa', 'Vin Diesel Santa's helper', 'Blogging Christmas a Lot', 'Sinterklaas alter Ego', 'SEO Experts Kinky Christmas', 'Christmas Tattoos', 'Pit Bull Santa', 'Stargazers Christmas Man', 'Knitting a Santa Costume Without the Itch', 'Santa's Secret Dreams', 'Crispy Christmas Casseroles', 'Nude X-Men Xmass Pictures'...

Oh what the heck... ;)

// Jan

Vices?

2011-12-14T22:21:00.002+01:00

Well... Vices. That's what we're talking about. Vice - According to Wikipedia is "Is a practice or a behavior or habit considered immoral, depraved, or degrading in the associated society. In more minor usage, vice can refer to a fault, a defect, an infirmity, or merely a bad habit. Synonyms for vice include fault, depravity, sin, iniquity, wickedness, and corruption. The modern English term that best captures its original meaning is the word vicious, which means "full of vice". In this sense, the word vice comes from the Latin word vitium, meaning "failing or defect". Vice is the opposite of virtue."

So, what are your vices - if any. According to Wikipedia explanation of the word one man's vice can be another man's virtue.

<Rant>
My 'Vice of the moment' is smoking. Can't help it. I smoke, I like it, I want it and I even convinced myself to believe I can't go without smoking.

So what? I smoke, my life, my lungs I don't see the problem. And there's when I can see the hairs in your neck stand up and you will be saying "Sure, buddy. But I un-voluntarily have to inhale the poisonous smoke you exhale.".

So, don't get near me, when I'm smoking. I won't smoke when there's someone around that is bothered by it. But there's more. I don't own or drive a car. And when people drive in MY street, where I live I never tell them to go drive somewhere else, because I don't want to inhale the fumes belched out by their car. They are poisonous to, you know.

Just with a little bit of common sense and the use of a fresh carved wooden club people will develop a better understanding on that matter by non smokers. Trust me, it hurts getting whacked on the Kaboocha with one.

But seriously... We're adults, we should be able to work out something, don't you think.

I believe in my freedom and the privilege of saying things the way I want. When it's about smoking, the internet, work, freedom of speech, race, religion, sexual preference, you name it. I wouldn't have it any other way and I'm lucky I was hatched in a country that fully supports that way of thinking.

I could have been born in a country where writing - or even thinking this way would send me to prison, or worse. Or getting whip lashed for such an 'offence'. That is... if you're not into SM that is.
</Rant>

So... what's your vice.

// Jan

Selling Stuff.

2011-12-11T21:08:00.002+01:00

Selling stuff to people that need it - or don't need it - is an art. We have all met them sometimes, in a car lot, trying to sell us an used car, or on the internet selling us socks that fold themselves. An art I tell you!
There's some pretty smart people out there. They seem to know what and why you need what they are selling. It really doesn't matter what they're selling, They will sell it to you.

Commercials. On TV, the radio, in the movies, on bill boards, everywhere. Stuff to shave your legs and grow hair on a baseball. You name it.

The people selling their product come up - assisted by herds of so-called experts - with the catchiest slogans and custom made posters. Creative marketeers. Like the add on the left. It was featured on a commercial for "The Hard Rock Cafe", and it was seen by the general public as "exploitation of the unborn child".

Oh common now, exploitation? I would say a pretty creative mind at work armed with some great skills in Photoshop.

Another great one. "John Lemon". This one was launched by an Italian shopping store, as the link to their music offers in store. Wonder what sour-puss came up with that one.

It shows what all commercials have in common and that is question or provoke the viewer / seller. It's all about what now is called "Branding your product". Be seen. A lot. And lots more. And then again some more. Put a face with the product, so to speak. It does not even have to be a commercial you really like, because bad and irritating commercials will stick to your mind. Remember the product.

There are some commercial concepts I don't really understand. The last one was a commercial for a 3D TV, shown on my TV. My TV. Old Panasonic 100 Hz 2D. WTF!

3D is going to be the next hype, in my not so humble opinion. You say it's a hype already? I'm not sure about that.

Just wait until the "Pizzafaces United of the Internet" discover the next generation 3D computer monitors. Think about the possibilities. The sentence "don't point that thing at me" will have a whole different meaning.

Peter North would be proud of himself. Scary though. "Duck, take cover". Happy 3D'ing!

// Jan

Awesome Dad, Yeah Right.

2011-12-07T22:19:00.001+01:00

As you (should) know by now, I go to work every day by public transportation, or pubic transportation I sometimes jokingly call it. It gives me some time to wake up a little longer in the morning going to work and wind down when I'm heading home again. The people that get in that tram line 2...

I had a relative easy day at work last Monday. I was able to finish most of the work I had to do that day and almost everything that was due last Friday. It's just that kind of work. Plus I got off work early that day because of the Sinterklaas celebrations.

Tram Line 2, The Hague, The Netherlands

I walked to the tram - tunnel (about 15 minutes) and waited for the tram to stop in the tunnel. The arrivals board in the tunnel showing "5 minutes" for my tram number 2.

There she came. Squeaked to a halt. People got out, people got in. The cattle tram was on it's way to bring the people that work in the center of the city back from work to their homes.

2 stops later 'they' got in, They being a dad and a - I think - 12 year old girl. They both sat down on the bench before mine in that tram. Dad was silent. He looked somewhat scruffy and tired. Not the girl, apparently his daughter. She was talkative and alert. Her clothes up to the latest girly fashion standards. Cute.

She was showing off her new Blackberry phone and how she could ping all her friends now - for free!

"Mom bought it for me. Jason got one to and we were pinging each other all the time. Kimberly joined the fun, it was a blast and I have all my friends numbers in my contacts list, and... and... and... We almost got in trouble in class because the teacher told us that all cell's must be switched off during class. We laughed about it after school. That all happened just before you picked me up from school, dad. Dad?".

"Sure hun.". He looked out of the window. "It's a cool phone" he said. He added to that - whispering - "She bought her a friggin phone. I paid for that cell, bitch. I always pay my child support in time, what do I get...".

The whole thing pissed me off. Paying child support is a duty, not a right. And never, ever give your kid the impression that it's spent the way you don't like. Things don't always work out the way you planned. The kid was conceived from love and that love can't be bought by paying your child support in time. You're an awesome dad, dude. Yeah Right.

// Jan

Seven Commandments for The Woman's Prerogatives

2011-12-03T01:26:00.001+01:00

I was thinking about making a new blog entry to - what's called - The Woman's Prerogatives, but I was not sure how to 'bring' that. So that gave me the idea of putting a some sort of commandments form so it could be entertaining for some and give new insights for others on this phenomenon...

So, here is my Seven Commandments for The Woman's Prerogatives. Take note. I said mine. In this case I will stoop as low as taking Money Orders, Western Union, Cirrus, Visa and Master Card as sources of 'donations for making me shut the f up'...

Do the road signs on the left make a bell in your head ring - or the proverbial light bulb light up - then chances are you are a man trying his best to figure out on of the best kept secrets in the universe: "The organisation and functionality of a woman's brain". The differences are not well documented so I have to rely on my own experience. By no means I pretend to know how "Joyce Average" thinks and for me the different approach in thinking is more a sexy thing then anything else.

It feels kinda funky though when you - as a man - decide to take that right turn on the road and Joyce - riding shotgun next to you - with a mere click of her fingers turns all of your plans upside down, inside out, triple reversed in a screaming turn to your left. You'll find yourself riding on the wrong side of the road playing chicken with a herd of eighteen wheeler's thundering head on to you at a full throttle accelerating towards 90+ M/h. Stomach churns. Pre-digested pizza on the floorboard. Blegh. Ahem. So. Here we go. No 10, but 7, OK?

#1: The Silent Treatment. A woman can - at any time, for whatever reason - give anyone "The Silent Treatment". No kidding. Cracks me up every time, because she - by doing that - surrenders her biggest weapon. Now I can watch the game on TV... In peace. However she can and will refrain to Moving Things (See #3). The woman will find other ways of expressing herself, as explained under #4 Clanging.

#2: Keep him Waiting. It is a woman’s prerogative to make a man wait. It does not matter what the situation or the occasion is, he must be patient and greet her in a cheerful manner when she does finally make her appearance. If he does make any comments about her late arrival…refer to prerogative #1. For a woman to look her best, she must not be rushed. She may also ask the man if her outfit makes her butt look fat, there is no right answer to this question so the best thing for the man to do is tell her that she looks beautiful and change the subject. Even better would be to make the “beautiful” comment before she has a chance to ask the question and avoid being subject to prerogative #1 for the rest of the evening.

#3 Moving Things. It is a woman’s prerogative to change the placement of certain items that the man has set down. She must do this because the man puts said items in the wrong spot, usually in the woman’s way. This may cause some momentary confusion for the man but will be straightened out as soon as he stops searching high and low and chooses to ask the woman where it is. The woman will happily find the item for him or tell him where to find it, provided she is not exercising prerogative #1.

#4 Clanging. is the woman’s prerogative to display her anger to the man in a non-verbal fashion. Often this is done by “clanging” pots and pans in the sink or by noisily slamming various items. This is also a signal to the man to read her mind and apologise or to find some other way to make peace with her for whatever he has done (real or imagined) to make her angry.

#5 Shopping. It is the woman’s prerogative to engage in “retail therapy” whenever she sees fit or when her favorite shopping outlet is having a good sale. Even though she should not have to justify this habit, she will likely and very logically excuse herself with the explanation that making a purchase of sale items, actually saves money (even though she would never have bought those items anyway), and that more stuff bought on sale (useless or not) means more savings. (i.e. Shoes = $100.00. 50% Clearance, so buy two pair, Earnings: $100.00) This often will cause a “feedback loop effect” on the male brain, the symptoms of which are: rolling of the eyes, and muttering to himself. The effects wear off fairly quickly and will usually not cause any lasting damage.

#6 Good Time. It is the woman’s prerogative to have a good time when out with the man, but also to put a stop to the man’s good time if he is having more fun than she is. If she is having a really good time then, chances are, he is not. In this case, it is likely he has arrived too late (refer to prerogative #2) and is displeased about having to “catch up”.

#7 Motivation. It is the prerogative to verbally motivate the man when things need doing around the house and he has either misplaced his list or has forgotten to do something that she has asked him to do over and over and over…

Use the above named 7 Commandments as you want. I am out of here. Running for the hills. Gone. Buying cigarettes or whatever. Nice Fall, see you next Spring. :)

// Jan

Devil Dawg

2011-11-28T22:02:00.001+01:00

I kinda like them. You know, 'mean' looking dogs. If they are well bred and domesticated they're the best living creatures to have around. But, there are some pretty develish dogs around...

This particular one is a Weimaraner - Pit Bull Terrier mix. With crossbreeding you have to always be a little careful.

Weimaraner - Pit Bull Terrier mix.

Like I said earlier, if well domesticated they will treat you - it's 'owner' with respect. By no means I am a dog expert, but some people say I have some common sense enough to figure out how the system works.

Wolf pack mentality. The system works almost like any group of creatures that are living together. There is 'The Alpha Male/Female' - the leader of the pack - and it's pack. He rules, he sets the boundaries, he is boss with a capital B, the numero uno with the big cohones.

And there are the 'followers'. Once in a while a lower classed animal will challenge the Alpha figure and he better knows what he's doing. El Capitano takes no prisoners. So. A pretty simple and basic system. Hell NO!

The Devil Dog, aka Doo.

On the picture on the right is Doodles, or Doo for short. Cute little toy dog, Shih-Tzu / Maltezer mix. The little shit will make you talk baby talk and say 'Aaaaw' too many times. When someone asks me "Can I pet him?" I mumble something like "Yeah sure you can, but I'm not taking any responsibility...". This instantly puts a WTF expression on the petter's face and covers me for liability.

This dog is Satan personified. He is made of lava straight from Hell injected with Sulfur. I am not kidding. He'll bite your leg off in one bite and will swallow it in one gulp - sideways.

Earlier I spoke of group behaviour and cohones. Well this little guy has been 'helped' (Ouch...). Neutered. Cut. Dismembered. But he's still acting like he has them the size of a bouncy-balls. But... He's the cutest dog ever. He likes me and I like him. Kinda. Sorta. From a distance. 300 Yards. Or more.

Happy petting!

// Jan

Santa - Sinterklaas?

2011-11-25T18:47:00.001+01:00

The Holiday season has arrived, well I mean here in The Netherlands. We skipped Halloween and Thanksgiving and that guy in red is in the country again.
That guy in red? No, it's not the 'Woman in red's' nephew and he is not related to Santaclaus. He is Sinterklaas. Children's best friend during the holiday season here in The Netherlands. He is one cool dude!

Sinterklaas

He rides a white horse named 'Amerigo'. It had absolutely no connection with the America's whatsoever. Sinterklaas will deny everything connected to the US, because there's where his younger nephew lives, known by the name of Santa. Playing Wordfeud on his I-Phone Sinterklaas discovered that from the word 'Santa' you can make another word: 'Satan' and the bearded fella just didn't like that.

Oh well, every family has a skeleton in the closet.

Just like his evil nephew, Sinterklaas brings presents for children of all ages. He has been doing that since the third century AD. That explains his beard. He used to be a bishop living in Myra, Turkey and moved to Italy. In 1087 Spain conquered that par of Italy so - from that time on - Sinterklaas was a Spanish citizen. I tell you... those were hectic times for Christians.

He celebrates his birthday on the 6th of December every year, not receiving, but giving presents to the little kids. All they have to do is set one of their shoes in front of the fireplace and sing a song. That could be a problem, because most homes here are equipped with central heating. No chimney, no fireplace.

So - basically - sing a song -> place your shoe, with a carrot in it for Sinterklaas' horse in front of the non existing fireplace -> receive I-phone -> be happy. Easy as that.

Then there was the political correct discussion about Sinterklaas' helpers. They are no 'helpers' like Santa's. They are all green elves and gnomes and... Hey let's read that back. Green? Are they all green? Isn't that somewhat discriminating? Sinterklaas has black colored helpers. Same thing? The Vancouver Sun had this to say about it.

A few years back some scientists did an experiment involving young children where they presented the little kiddo's with a black colored Sinterklaas and yellow, green, purple and red colored helpers. The kids didn't see 'the difference'. They don't have any prejudice or discrimination. That is 'learned' behaviour...

I-Phone5 (Drool)

My point?

Let tradition be tradition and keep the children of all ages happy, especially me.

And yes, I will place six of my size 9 boots in front of the fireplace I don't have, place hand - grown carrots in each of them, set the stupid horse a bowl with Tennessee Sippin' Whiskey, sing a duet with Pavarotti from hell and french - kiss each and every helper two times and - if asked nicely - I will go as far as kiss Amerigo's ass for the remainder of my natural life...

Now give me my damn phone.

// Jan

My 7 Link Challenge

2011-11-20T16:11:00.001+01:00

A few weeks ago I got a link from Sonia Winland from LogAllot.com about posting a new entry on my blog concerning 7 blog posts, current or from the past, I like. At first it felt like "Uhm... Those I like? Should it not be all about what my readers - you - think?"...

I did some 'deep' soul searching and that made me realize the relative importance of me blogging is not measurable, meaning it could be nothing, or everything. What's blogging for me? A way of arranging my thoughts in life perhaps? It should be fun, foremost. And that's what it brings me. Fun, I just happen to like blogging. Weird? Some people spend a part of the day taking pictures of themselves on the I-Phone, and I happen to blog. Some enjoy quilting. So... There...

So, without further delay, and in random order and for no particular reason my seven favorite blog entries:

#1 The Man In Black. It was my first blog entry and I choose the subject because of the awesome musician it depicts. Johnny Cash. It contained a link to the page a interactive video is being made on The Johnny Cash Project. listen and contribute.

#2 Aye Captain. A blog entry about virtual traveling, some people should try this. Dream. Think. Believe.

#3 Cooking. Something I like to do, and can do, according to some survivors of my mental cooking genius wannabe moments. I cook an awesome sgetty Bolognese!

#4 Facebook Down The Drain. OK. This needs some explanation. I have a love / hate relationship with Facebook and the likes. I love the way of communication, making friends, meeting new people, cultures, but I hate the commercial approach of it all. The one thing I still don't understand is the 'poke' button. Try to poke me and I'll kick your butteroonocks.

#5 Boys and Girls. I just liked doing this. It was fun to write and let my fantasy go wild within the boundaries of the PG13 rules... ;)

#6 Purse. It proved for me the fact that with a little fantasy and the help of Miss Google you can make any subject worth while. This one was actually inspired by my daily ride to the center of The Hague by tram, going to work.

#7 Internet Security for Private Blog Hosting Adventures. It has a link to what I do in everyday life. Question, wonder, research. I hope it helped some of you.

The second part of the '7 Link Challenge' is to nominate 7 fellow bloggers / bloggetes to take part in this challenge. So - drum roll - again in random order I hereby nominate the flowing bloggers:

The Redneck Princess by Donna with here unique view on things.
Dreamers, lovers and Star Voyagers by Teresa. Short and longer writings. Expert moods.
The Four Legged Mom by Brenda. Woof. Roll over.
Loosing It, In SO Many Ways by Chrissy. From the Heart
The Honest Bitch by The Honest Bitch. In your Face.
Mel Dreams Often by Mel. About this and that, always a good read.
My Journey by Mika. She likes to crochet.

So. Be a sport and post your favorite posts from your blog and nominate 7 others. Keep the ball rolling.

// Jan

Wordpress Versus Blogger?

2011-11-06T20:34:00.001+01:00

It's that time. Time to choose, well at least I think it is. I have been using Blogger now since May 2011 and I am content with that choice, but for the last couple of weeks I have been thinking about switching to Wordpress.

Why? I started out saying I am content with that choice, but for some reason I believe that Wordpress is a more 'Professional environment' to blog in.

So far, Blogger has not disappointed me. It works fairly intuitive, with easy access to most important features.

But the more I look at the result of my relative hard work I am not satisfied with the overall result and 'look and feel' of Bloggers. It feels - for some reason - a little bit shaky to me. It's just not really what I am looking for and the sites I have been following that are made and maintained with Wordpress have - at least to me - a more professional appearance.

So. That's settled, you would think, but for some reason I am holding back.

I have done some reading about the whole subject of switching from Blogger to Wordpress and I'm not a total moron (I think.).

Here are a few things I am worried about (in random order).

My readers. I seem to have readers that are relative silent. Will they still be able to find me on the ole innernet? I have been working hard to make a good rating on the Blogorama URL at Bloggers.

Switching over. What about subscriptions, email addresses, use of the site name 'Blogorama', (#4 Google ranking on the keyword 'Blogorama'), followers, NetworkedBlogs, Facebook likes (I assume that's connected to the Facebook account. so that should not be a biggy), Pictures the site uses, Permalinks to other sites, The commenting system using Disqus and close to a million other questions and uncertainties.

So, in other words: 'YELP!'. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

// Jan

Terrace Hopping for Experts [Explained]

2011-11-05T10:55:00.001+01:00

A big part of living in The Netherlands is 'Terrace Hopping' or - as I call it mostly - people watch and to be more specific, the girls. Anyways, I like anything pleasing to the eyes, that either being a beautiful painting, nice architecture or stained glass windows.

My favorite watering hole is 'De Grote Markt' (The Big Market) smack dab in the middle of The Hague. It's a square with a lot of bars rurrounding it.

Grote Markt, The Hague

The people that come there are mostly shoppers during the day and night dwellers during the night. It's a mixed audience with one thing in common: They like to people watch.

Writers, shoppers, families, singles looking for a date and at evening our own 'Mayor of the night', Rene Bom. Like a vampire, he roams the streets in the city center looking for hotspots and the places to be seen.

Because that's the whole game: See and be seen. And one of the places to be is De Grote Markt.

Left: Rene Bom, Right: Henk Bres.

Like I said. The game. Pretty soon Lucas Art should make a game about that. Working title of the game could be 'PickemUp! The game for real men, followed by it's sequel 'PickemUp 3D, where you can almost feel the girls'.

So, are there tips for PickemUp? Yes, there is. And here is your own little cheat card for the game.

TACTICS: Be sure you get noticed. Things to do could be: Wear cool designer (preferably) glasses. They don't have to be shades. At night there's not much sun. Waring shades in the middle of the night is considered to be 'over trying'. It will make you look pathetic when you fly down a flight of stairs head first.

Day tactics on the other hand are completely different. Her's some advice to pick up a hottie..
Glasses: OK if they are designers or look like they are. Black rimmed ones are hot now. Avoid white rimmed ones. Or pink for that matter, unless you're looking for another kind of fish from the pond. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Book: If you don't own one, borrow it from a friend. Be sure to hold it right side up an opened. Do not follow the lines you're reading with your index finger. Do not move your lips when reading as if you are spelling out the words. If you have never read a book try to avoid borrowing anything from Tolstoy. Comics are not done. Big X,

Crossword Puzzle [DUH]

Crossword puzzles: Tricky one. It spells 'Dullness'. If you decide to do one, be sure you're confident writing and thinking up words that are more that four letters long. If they're rated with stars, start off with 3 and work your way op. Beware: Thinking hurts like hell for most men.

Newspaper: Good option if you can read. Do not cut any holes in the newspaper to get a better view of your surroundings. I.e. girls. The holes will make you look like a Russian spy from the fifties.

Other: Do not: smoke a pipe. Do not wear your cap backwards. Do not look to much at that girl. Do not ignore that girl. Do not wear white socks, ever. Be sure your fly is zipped or buttoned up. Do not show that you have hair on your back. Be sure to wear matching shoes. Be sure you're wearing clean underwear. You never know what might happen. Do not send yourself text messages with your phone to make it look like you're popular.

Reading...

After all that's been taking care off, just relax and see what will happens next. You might get lucky. Maybe. Something.

Ultimate tip: Borrow a dog from a friend if you don't have one. This will get the girls motherly instincts going. "Awww. what a sweetie. Can I pet it?" I am pretty sure most will be able to come up with a witty answer to that question...

Good luck!

// Jan
Inspired by: Internet Dating Advice For Girls.

Personal Assistants are Female?

2011-11-02T19:24:00.001+01:00

If - and when - I grow up I want a personal assistant. It's not that I don't want to take care of things myself, but a personal assistant sounds pretty awesome to me. Boss him or her a little bit around, not to much, because I don't want to get in trouble with the Union, but yes, I would like to 'have one'.

A living dude or dudette preferably, because it's easier to communicate. I'll try not to say "Do this!" or "Do that!", because they should be smart enough to read me so well, they just know what I need.

Apple's I-Phone 5

Whoops... I forgot we are living in 2011 now and well, there are I-Pads, I-Pods , I-Puds and I-Pids to help me out.

They are becoming more and more intelligent. The keyboard is rendered practical useless and most all commands can be entered by speech. Awesome.

We all would end up talking into and to our phones all day. We might forget about how is used to be to talk to a living human being. Scary. Yack, yack, yack all day and have nothing really to say. [This concludes my poetical aspirations for today. I can also knit, iron, wash windows, change my own socks, roll over and bring the newspaper, if asked nicely.]

Did you know electronic devices - the ones that listen and talk back - almost always have a 'female voice'? Wonder why that is? That's why "Scientific studies have found that humans prefer the sound of a woman's voice to a man's. The preference begins at an early age too. Stanford University professor Clifford Nass cites a study in which fetuses react to their mother's voice, but not to other female voices or their father's voice.". Oh? Like I was responding in my mothers womb? So what did I do?

The REAL Siri

Siri is female to. I have been told she's a bitch in real life. So... to bad for all you pimple infected hormone-factory boys. To bad.

Well, maybe she can knit? Or bring the newspaper, or play dead on command? Maybe she's just a little grumpy because all the stupid questions she gets all day long: "What are you wearing?", "Set a reminder for me on the days you are having your period?".

Maybe it's a good idea to program her to make her say "Young man... Stop asking your friggin' stupid questions all the time or else I will shut myself down so hard that your phone will be useless and will stay that way no matter what kind of micro USB plug you stick in me."

// Jan

Halloween Dinner

2011-10-29T11:25:00.001+02:00

I have never been in the habit of asking complete strangers out for dinner, but it seemed a good idea when I met Gloria. I told you I'm not in the habit of doing that, but this time it felt good. Trusted almost. She was pretty but she was not. There was something wrong with her, maybe. I could not figure her out.

Maybe that was partly the reason I approached her - or did she approach me? I could not really remember. We started talking and now come to think of it I can't even remember what we talked about.

Gloria.

We ended up here. This little restaurant. It was dark outside and the few lamps, here and there did not make this place into resembling a place to have dinner with someone you just met.

There was no service, apparently. We have been sitting here for around 15 minutes now, if I'm guessing right. A bottle of red wine stood between us on the dinner table. Two glasses. No silverware. No tablecloth. No napkins.

"So you're not in the habit of picking up girls from the street, Jan?". She took a sip from her wine. I was holding my glass in my two hands, trying to warm them, almost. This place felt cold. I looked at her eyes.They were dark, black almost.

"Ok, Gloria" I said, just making conversation "Normally I don't do that, but well I thought that maybe you would like something to eat and that's why I asked you". I knew she knew that didn't make sense at all. "Are you cold?" I asked her. She smiled. "No I'm not.". Another sip from her wine. "Are you hungry?" I asked her. "Well..." she smiled "I could use a bite."

I could feel some tension building up between her and me, almost sexual. She licked her lips. "Are you ready to order something?" I asked. "No," she replied. "I don't have to order. You are my dinner...". I could hear my skull crack when she slammed her long nails into the sides of my head, ripping the top of. "Dinner is being served cold tonight." That was the last thing I heard.

Happy Halloween.

// Jan

Twitter, Tweets and Twats

2011-10-27T21:12:00.000+02:00

Twitter just announced they will be doing an upgrade on their interface. Tweets are - like now - displayed in your Timeline, but the peeps from Twitter are offering to 'zoom in' on a particular post and see the whole thread of related posts and affected user. All very interesting. Upload video's to, the whole shebang (#!). But...

Official Twitter Logo

But is everything going to be better to like Twitter promises? I have my doubts. There's just going to be more of the same. Only different crap.

Wait until they allow 10 y/o kiddo's to share video content on Twitter. It's going to be boobs and zits galore. Stuff ooooozing off from Twitter on to my screen here. Wiping hormone stains from my screen at home will become a daily task and the girls at the checkout counter at my local supermarket will look funny at me when I am buying my third box of Kleenex that week... I didn'task for those 'improvements', now, did I?

Or video's showing their 'Who Can Pull The Biggest Booger From His Nose' contest. Probably posted by a user called Mr.♣Cooli♣yo_98. And the number in his username does not stand for his age, but the year he was born in. Yeah, ok, go ahead, use your fingers. 13 friggin' years. That's what you get when you eat to much red meat with extra hormones added. Or drinking funky 2% milk. Sheesh...

People are sometimes a little clumsy when using the internet or tools or chainsaws for that matter. They'll just chop off everything. Fail. And then you get posts like the one on the right.

Is it better now? I went through my Twitter list and did some profile hunting. If one of these is yours, don't blame me, because you put it there.

"Providing today's leaders with tomorrow's tools.". OK nothing funny or stupid here. He / she might tweet every once in a while. "Today: BIG discount on Tools for Leaders. Hacksaws 15% off!".
Another one: "Never let a computer know you're in a hurry. ~Author Unknown". In your profile. What does that really say about you? Go figure. Maybe it's a nice way to say "Uhm... you know... I am a little bit... like... slow...". I know, I know, it's kinda hard not to make a complete fool of yourself in 140 characters.
Another one: "I'm a life coach. My record is 0 wins, 412 losses and 1 tie. It's just good to be in the game. My assistant coach helped with the tie.". Beep. Time's up. Instant looser.
Another one: "Sweet 16 with 45 years experience in the pron industry". See. Finaly something I can understand. Kinda. Sorta. Maybe.

Happy Tweeting

// Jan

Secure Own / Private Domain For Your Blog?

2011-10-23T20:49:00.002+02:00

Ok. I have been thinking about this little project I am doing now for a long time. It's about secure domains. A lot of bloggers are thinking about getting rid of their Blogger or Wordpress account and moving their site to a private domain. Doing that has it advantages. More control, more possibilities (Downloads, Music, Video) and FTP up- and downloads are just a few. But... There are some drawbacks.

In the preparation of this project I set myself a few rules.

The domain should not have been updated or used for close to a year.
Where possible I had to be able to guarantee the owners' privacy.
Get my information only by using tools that are available as sites on the internet.
No use of advanced tools.
No hacking, cracking or defacing websites.
This project should benefit the bloggers' community.

This is the story:

[Click on any picture to get a bigger image]

Using Google I searched random sites that had to be personal blogs or journals. And I found one that has not been updated for quite a while:

One of the sites I found.

A 'typical' blog / journal set up by a person, that clearly wanted a job in the entertainment field. Apparently this didn't work out to well, so the site was abandoned in a way. No more interaction from the owner or people following him or her. What can I find - if anything - about the owner. I got two points to work from. The name of the person and the website URL. Time to get to work.

The site's WHOIS information.

WHOIS is a public internet database, with information about all registered domain names. Using the URL I was able to get a lot of information, like the full name, address of the owner, Amie.

The site's landing page source.

Opening the source of the site in my browser gave me access to it. I searched it. The site was coded en copyrighted by Amie. I had found myself a good target. The name apparently real. More to be done.

Searching with Google Maps.

Since the WHOIS database gave me the full address and name of Amie I could actively do a search. In Street View mode I could get an impression how the houses looked, the surroundings. Estimate the home values and so on.

Social Mention Site.

Using a Social Network Search engine I looked for Amie's details and I found she shared video's on YouTube and Google. And there were around 35 hits on there for her name.

Pipl Search Engine results.

Using the Pipl Search engine I found more. There was a Facebook account in her name.Let's see what's there. Would all be secure, or wide open to everyone? I didn't know Amie, but I was about to find out.

Facebook Page

The Facebook page was wide open. I could see her education, Schools she went to, pictures, 446 friends, her 'likes', her Florida vacation pictures. I could access her Wall, everything.

E P I L O G U E .

Here is the point I'm trying to make. I am working as a Software Engineer, so I should be able to get most of the information I want (or do not want) from the internet. I didn't use any advanced hacking tools. I did not use any Social Engineering nor SQL injection in the site. No port sniffing, no WireShark research on passwords. I should not and would not do that.

Today, with all cross - linked websites logins like Twitter, Facebook, Klout, Google, Yahoo, OpenID, Disquss it's getting harder and harder to protect your privacy on the internet. If you are a blogger, like me, you like to promote and share your blog with the world.

I like to see it this way. If you want something to be private, don't put it on the internet. I have nothing to hide, so I share stuff. If it's NO secret it's not interesting to anyone. Secrets are. Besides, I'm not paranoid to the extent that I'm afraid that someone would ring my doorbell over something I put on the internet. Anouk will not come over for a cup of coffee if I posted a Copyrighted picture of her on my blog.

Blogger Tips:

If - as a blogger - you choose to get your own domain hosted somewhere make sure, your registrant information does not link you to an address. Be sure to get that clear.
Be honest and open to what you put in your blog. Back it up with arguments if needed.
Always be careful posting things about your kids. Some cellphones store geographic information IN the picture about where they were taken (your home, their school, their daycare center etc)
Be careful with work - related posts and links.
Have fun blogging.

Of course I did a search on me. Try yours. You would be surprised what you might find.

Happy blogging.

// Jan

Interview: Mr. GOOGLE Auto-completion

2011-10-21T22:08:00.001+02:00

It took in all more than 20 phone calls, around 50 e-mails and some back-and-forth emailing sessions on LinkedIn, but I got an appointment. An appointment to meet him in person. "All we can allow is for you is to have a 30 minutes interview with him", the PR people from Google informed me. "If you're not done in within the 30 minutes we have to pull the plug.". And off I went to meet my subject of my interview in person.

Google Official Logo (TM)

Finally, after a long flight from Amsterdam to San Francisco and a 45 minutes drive to Mountain View I reached my destination: Google World Headquarters.

Spacious, although located in the middle of Mountain View. I got the impression of entering the new era offices. Security. Of course. I had to leave my cell at the desk and I got a badge pinned on me. "Guest - PR advice", it said. I had no clue what that means. I was brought to HIS office, HIS castle, HIS reason of being on the planet. There he was, Mr. Auto-completion.

Coffee? Water? Anything? Security put me on a chair in this dimly lit office. "He'll be there in a minute.". Well, I think Mr. Auto-completion has to pee sometimes to... The door swung open. And there he was. Mr. Auto-completion.

He was nervous. Very nervous. Hyper even. OMG. We shook hands. "I'm sorry I am a little late, but I had to erm pee. Excuse my wet hands, I washed them, I don't want you to think I pee'ed over them...". This guy was a mental wreck.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Auto-completion. I'm Jan from The Netherlands and I'm here to... ". "I know, I know, I know, you are here to interview me, right? I have so much to do and no time for this to be honest...". "I will try to work as fast as I can." I replied. The office actually didn't have much furniture. Just a desk, two chairs, one computer and - on the right part of the desk - one 19'' monitor, on the left there were 6 22'' widescreen monitors. Hmmm... Interesting.

"So exactly what is your job here at Google?" I asked, still looking in amazement from all the hardware on display in that dark office. "Ok.. This is not going to work. I know what you want to ask me, so there's no need to ask me any questions for this interview. I'll do the questions and the answers.". Yaw dropped. Boink. To the floor. "And yes, I go through eight keyboards a week. I type fast...". Without blinking an eye he continued "I started of as Mr. Spelling Checker. You know? You type in something you want to search for on Google I could see your search request coming in on one of the monitors and came up with the phrase "Did you mean: Such and Such?" on Google and I replied through the smaller monitor. After that I moved on to auto-completion and now I am Mr. Auto-completion. Cool huh?". He took a swig from a bottle of 'extra sugar Jolt' and continued:

"Yes, sometimes my job can be difficult. Remember when that Vince Diesel movie was hot all over the internet and movie theaters world wide? Some 18 year old yuppie geek in their team came up with the idea of integrating 'XXX' in the movie's title. What warped mind comes up with that idea. It drove me crazy. " More Jolt. "How am I supposed to know what a user is looking for when they type in XXX. Are they searching for that Vin Diesel movie or are they looking for porn? On top of that I had to remember what kind of Google search filter they had selected. You know what? I have seen most of the XXX pages, some involving even hamsters, goats and once I have seen a naked asparagus on a site called 'Veganist Porn'. Go figure. I can't wait until they decide to release the 30th Special Aniversary Edition of 'The beauty and the Beast' in 3D splatter mode. Ok, this interview is over. I got work to do." More Jolt, he burped.

Sixty seconds later I was outside again. Fresh air. Light. On my way back home, I'll just sleep on the plane.

// Jan

Squeezing My Buttocks

2011-10-18T22:04:00.001+02:00

Not so very long ago I bought myself a new cell. I had the old one for about 2 years and I was getting a little bored with that 1998 Samsung model A1, with a pull-em-out antenna and a fourteen pound battery pack. Ok, I am one of those cell phone users that almost never use my cell to call anyone. If they need me, they'll just have to call me. Don't expect me to call back. Ever. So... enter the new phone.

I did have some things on my list of things"My New Cell Had To Be Capable Of Doing":

Micro-keyboard for texting in multiple languages (I don't want to switch phone text languages form Dutch to English and back again all the time).
'Some' Internet capabilities (Twitter, Facebook).
MP3 ringtones.
Camera.
Profiles.

So, no extravagant wishes at all. I Googled some stores in The Hague for interesting deals and. there she was... A simple, yet trendy phone. Came even with a Hyves (Dutch Facebook clone) and a two megapixel cam. Cool!

"Sold!". For just 65.00 Euro's and that included 15 Euro's calling credit. Yeah it's a prepaid. So what? If not, I would get overboard on the internet, probably. Life was perfect again, but as time went by she began to feel a little 'old'. We needed to give her a makeover. Not in the way of sticking syringes filled with Botox in her curved body but a software update.

So today my synchronization software suggested I needed to upgrade my firmware on my phone. Me being the obedient user that I am followed the advice. I should have known better. Enter Buttock Squeezing time.

[Editorial note: From this point on wards spelling errors are not made by the author, but were made by 'other' people].

Firmware update starts. (After making a backup accompanied by some advice from the software makers I'm not even going to mention on here...) "Did you made an backflip on the softwear?" Well that's a good start, I just did that, didn't I? So I click the only button available "Yes". What if I didn't? huh? "Reboot your systuum and we will install further aafter the system has been staarted up." Oh Lord.

Start, Reboot, Wait. Nothing happens. Hmmm. I decide to start the installation software again, manually. "You allreedy have the lastest version of the softwear installed on your system". Coolioos. We're done? Wait! No. 4 seconds later a popup appears on the screen. "Deconnect the USB cord and insert." Insert what? Where? I disconnected the USB cable running from my phone to the PC earlier. So I plug the USB cable in again. "BEEP!!". Wtf? "Instellation of the softwear completed.". Ok, are we done now? I wait for a few seconds, staring at that stupid popup. It has NO 'OK' button, no way to close it with an 'X'. I start the Windows Task Manager and terminate the installation program. Are we done now? A new popup "Instellation complete.". This one has an 'OK' button and I click it. The popup closes. Phew.

Relieve the stress. My butt hurts from squeezing it tight for so long. Thanks to: People working at LG, IKEA, Kijkshop, Wallmart, CVS. Bless their little hearts.

// Jan

P.s. My cell is in perfect working order and she feels all refreshed and young. She's almost like 'new'. Her ringtones ring like they never rang before. I am so looking forward to the new firmware update...

Humor, Just For Fun

2011-10-15T20:18:00.002+02:00

"Humor, Just for Fun" is the title of this blog entry. Well in it's tile it kinda holds the secret. Exactly what is "Fun". What I think is funny you maybe can't appreciate and vice versa. Yelp! Websters?
a : that quality which appeals to a sense of the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous
b : the mental faculty of discovering, expressing, or appreciating the ludicrous or absurdly incongruous
c : something that is or is designed to be comical or amusing.
That's said. Humor...

Software Engineer Humor.

Humor has many faces. Humor isn't always funny for everyone and you have to belong to a group to understand the fun of it. I for one can chuckle a little over what's in the picture on the left.

There's me, the professional Software Engineer trying to get rids of a bug in a piece of software, while the other members of the team stand by, doing zilch, nada, nothing but screaming "Yelp!" at the top of their lungs. Onsite-PM, TEST, T-Lead, P-Manager, or in plain French the external, flown in from Indonesia, Project Manager, the Test Team, The Team Leader, the Project Manager. Me, the Developer standing his and their ground, carrying a broad sword to chop the little bugger BUG's head of. One problem solved. Feed me more. Yell, I can even chuckle over 127.0.0.1 sweet 127.0.0.1.

Humor is everywhere. But mostly in the brain that's trying to make zillions of neurons flow in the right direction to make one smile. Just like blood. So laughing can be seen as a erection of your brain. Well for about 50% of the world population. What it is called for the 'other' 50%? I have no clue, I'm just an amateur gynecologist, not a doctor. :)

Whatever.. I mean, I can see humor when someone falls down a flight of stairs on his butt. I try not to laugh, but I can't. At some point I just have to let it out. When the above mentioned physical exercise had to be done by yours truly, I wouldn't see the humor of it. Chances are you'll get one of my hiking boots in your face. Slammo, and then I will be laughing. Heh. In your face!

I am no sport, I know. I just yam who I yam.

// Jan

Internet Shows That The Human Race Is Changing.

2011-10-13T21:36:00.001+02:00

I have been researching this for a few months now. Now I'm at the point of sharing what I found with you, my readers. First thing I need to do is to make my discovery known to a 'limited', but important audience. After that proves to be a success I just have to reveal everything to the world. If it's not to late, that is.

At first I thought I was seeing things. I saw pictures on people's profile that showed one similarity. Being the scientific person I just had to investigate.

Fig. #1 First Sighting. Made unrecognizable, minus the lips.

Here's a picture of one of the subjects. [Fig #1]. At first glance a pretty girl all dressed up for making the 'Coolest Profile Pic Ever', or CPPE for short. A term not so long introduced by Dr. John DeMeyre from Amsterdam.

But, look a little bit closer and you will discover something odd here. While doing a background research session on my subject it suddenly struck me. There's 'something' wrong with the lips.

I had to think of a name for this terrible malformation of the face and the only think that would be scientifically correct and understandable for the common world would be 'Duck Lips'. This behavior - or illness - acts like a virus. It spreads from the carrier - her in this case - to her friends. Using Facebook as my search tool I calculated about 39.3% from her female friends have been infected to. The virus seems to infect mostly younger people and the reason for that we don't understand yet. We also do not understand why the virus does this. We are completely in the dark. Further research will be conducted by the newly formed DLST (Duck Lips Swat Team). Team leaders will be John DeDuck and William H. Goose.

Fig #2 Rare shot of younger and older specimen.

But there's more. Again we are not sure what's going on or what causes this strange behavior.

Fig #2 shows a rare picture of a young and a little older female subject. This picture was taken on the 13th October 2011 by me, secretly using my cell's camera and the location was the 'Tramtunnel' in The Hague, Holland. I had to approach the subjects of my investigation carefully, to not disturb them. A mere 'CLICK' from my cell's camera could send them running away to safety...

There is - after we as a team carefully researched the picture - something weird going on. Again the why is still pretty shady. The younger subject stands with her legs crossed. A possible reason could be that she has to relieve herself, or something, but we're not sure. It's to early in the investigation process to even make an educated guess. Therefor I shall refrain from that. What worries me to, is the fact her hands and to be more specific her thumbs showed first signs of Tumblitis. A rapid progressing illness caused by texting on her cell to much.

So in fact it was a blessing, sent from heaven that the popular BlackBerry was not working for a couple of days. It may have saved a lot of thumbs. So... A BIG thumbs - up for Blackberry!

// Jan

Argghhh Full Moon.

2011-10-10T21:07:00.001+02:00

"Tomorrow the night willeth come, night of Evil and Doom, night of Terror and Mayhem...". This sentence was first read in the book 'Evil Nights' by Edgar T. McIntyre, a famous Irish writer who died in Dublin, Ireland in 1792 due to the Black Plague. During his short life of 38 years this was the only book he wrote and it covered the mystique days of the after-dark ages.

Well... If you believe that, you'll believe anything I write. So beware. It's true, though tomorrow night, the 11th of October 2011 there will be a full moon.

Bright autumn days, resulting in Hollywood type of full moon nights, you all know the shots. A bright yellowish moon, death - pale almost, lights the sky. A lost cloud sometimes, brushing itself against the moon in an almost sensual distant meeting.

Tomorrow. I told you the date, didn't I? 10-11-11. Or 101111. There's something odd about that number (other than being odd of course).

There's more to tell. Full moon. It supposedly makes people acting a little weird sometimes. It's just like Friday the 13th. There is never no real proof into why there are more suicides on any Friday the 13th as on other, 'normal' days. Facts you probably never heard of concerning Full Moon:

#1: The chances of being bitten by a dog are twice as high during a full moon, according to a study at Bradford Royal Infirmary, which reviewed 1,621 cases of dog bite between 1997 and 1999. However, a study at the University of Sydney in Australia concluded there was no identifiable relationship between the state of the moon and dog bites.

#2: Gervaise of Tilbury, a 13th-century canon lawyer, was the first to link the full moon with the transformation into a werewolf. Writing in his Otia Imperialia he reports cases in the Auvergne, below. The philosopher Gottfried Leibniz described the popular work as a "bagful of foolish old woman's tales"

#3: The female menstrual cycle has long been linked to the full phase of the moon. One theory is that prehistoric men were more likely to go hunting during their womenfolk's period because of taboos associated with blood. The most profitable time to hunt was during the full moon and the best way to convince the men to return with food was with the prospect of sex.
Source: The Independent

Wow. Well being on the positive side, things can always get worse. If that sentence made any sense you've already lost it... Well kinda sorta. Let's build - now knowing what we just learnt - a worst case scenario.

It is full moon and your wife / girlfriend is close to getting her period. (That's all connected, remember?) on the same day. On a scale from 0 to 10 (10 being worst) this could score anywhere between 4 and 7.

Now let's take that same situation, but on Friday the 13th. Probable score 11 out of 10. Count your blessings. :)

Happy full moon.

// Jan

Living in a Multi-Cultural society

2011-10-09T14:29:00.001+02:00

The Netherlands, the country I live in. It's rich in history, culture and art. I won't go into great extent on the history. I want to focus more on the benefits of living in a world "Multi-Culti" society as we call it. Melting pot mentality. I just love it!

Living in a Multi Cultural society has some drawbacks, sometimes. But overall I appreciate living in one. For now I am limiting myself to what's going on in my hometown, The Hague, The Netherlands. We are sharing The Hague with 144 different nationalities from all over the world. That, combined with the fact that The Hague is candidate for the 2018 Cultural Capital of Europe, make the city a playground for everyone. No discrimination, but being open to influences from all over the world.

Colonialism. Now almost a swearing word but then, in the old days something to be proud of. Suriname, a tiny country in the South Americas. Tropical climate and warm blooded people. The original population are descendants of the Maya Indians in Central America. A proud people.

The little country became independent from The Netherlands in 1975 but about half of it's residents live in The Netherlands.

Music, good food and dance with a capital D. Suriname itself can also be called a melting pot of cultures, from South America (the Indians), Creoles (descendants from the liberated slaves), China, Indonesia especially the Java Islands, Jews and many others.

Indonesia - or as it's called here - "The emerald belt". Under Dutch government until 1948. The spicy food, and the beautiful people of Bali. For tourists they still perform their shadow puppet plays (Wayong) and traditional dances in their original costumes.

The beauty and grace is just amazing.

The food of their country can best be described as 'Flaming HOT'. Rawit Chili Peppers will make your nose run, make you sweat. There are many restaurants in The Hague serving Indonesian food. Garoeda is considered to be one of the best in The Netherlands. Getting hungry? Go to the Garoeda Website.

So basically what I am trying to get across is, we all should cherish the different cultures and beliefs we have in 'our' country. Is it 'our' country to begin with? A country is just a piece of land, defined by man - made borders, imaginary white lines on a map. Nothing more.

No need for any 'fobia' about new country's supposedly 'invading' our space. Believe you me, the whole thing about the so called Muslim invasion is just history in the making. Being afraid of what you don't know is just plain stupid in my vision.

I just like it when I can go to the Italian Pizza shop, owned by a Turkish family, living in The Hague for years to buy me a Surinam Roti. There ya go.

//Jan

The Bloggin' Blues.

2011-10-07T21:34:00.001+02:00

I - and probably you to - have been forewarned. At some point in our blogging life we will suffer from a bad case of the Bloggin' Blues. It's like a beginning bloggers PMS mucho gigante. It's made of the finest, hand picked threads of ugh feelings. Now what? Or in good plain old English: "YELP!"

Lady sings the blues.

The blues. What is that anyway? Webster:
"1: low spirits : melancholy <suffering a case of the blues>
2: a song often of lamentation characterized by usually 12-bar phrases, 3-line stanzas in which the words of the second line usually repeat those of the first, and continual occurrence of blue notes in melody and harmony
3: jazz or popular music using harmonic and phrase structures of blues".

Ok. Now that helps. It's either 'something' with music or melancholy. Now that makes sense. Now I know what to do: Happy Pills! Lucky for me they usually come in happy colors, like blue, green, red, yellow. Kinda like Skittles on steroids.

NO. I know what it is. Writers Block. "I need to write something, but I don't know what about. Nothing comes up to my mind. I am lost, doomed, tragedy galore.". Despair not. my friends, because there's some cures for Writers Block.

Candy Dulfer.

#2. Listen to music. Any kind of music that will set you in the right mood to blog.
#3. Read some inspiring blogs about any subject you like.
#4. Sit on the couch and watch Cartoon Network or Playboy Chanel.
#5. Sit on the couch and don't do anything. Keep breathing though. Important!
#6. Do you really need to blog about 'something' NOW, or can it wait. Remember, the majority of bloggers do this for a hobby and the people reading your blog won't really come to your house to slap your wrist.

For you paying attention: #1: Write something about what you do when you suffer from a bad case of the Bloggin' Blues.

It will clear your mind and it can be helpful for fellow bloggers and bloggerettes. Promise! Keep on Blogging!

And to Candy: Let her rip!

// Jan

Birds, they just FLY

2011-10-05T18:33:00.001+02:00

In case you haven't noticed it, it's autumn. Once I read a poem by a French poet that went (well, translated in English, kinda sorta...).

''The leaves are falling from the trees
To the ground and while they rot away,
Dispersing the strong smell of Death
Returning in to what made them in the first place, Soil.''

Ok. Now we know that. To me it sounds all a little bit depressing - Death and rot. Uggh, makes me think of putting the garbage out on a rainy Wednesday morning before heading to work. :) But... it could be just me.

It gives me a reason and an opportunity to grab my camera and head out to - in this particular case - to the park just around the corner. It's actually in the middle of a densely populated area in The Hague and it's just a little park.

But when you know some things about elementary camera control, lighting and drama you could make someone believe this picture "was taken on a perfect day in Holozfield Park in Fl. USA". Oh well. Just a little piece of dirt road in the middle of the city.

Just around the corner where I took this picture I stumbled on a Great Blue Heron, or did he / she stumble on me. Anyway. He was just THERE, minding his own business.

I grabbed my camera and managed to take some pictures. Beautiful animal. He was feeding on the edge of a little man - made canal scanning for prey. Hungry. He noticed me, but he didn't seem to be impressed at all. He was just curious.

Birds ARE amazing. They have a built - in biological clock that tell them, even solitary living birds, it's time to GO. "Enough is enough" they think, with their peanut sized brains "Let's fly South before that stupid winter weather will come.".

They just know when to go, where to go, how to get there without using a GPS system, maps or other means to let them know where to fly. They just flap out their wings and GO

I guess they - unlike us, humans - don't have to think WHY they have to fly. They just follow their instinct, heart, whatever you want to call it and start flying to an unknown destination. They don't care about what if's and yeah but's they might encounter on their trip to unknown uncharted area's.

Sometimes I think it's a good thing to have a pea -sized brain every once in a while. It will stop us humans trying to make up excuses why we do, or don't do things.

Anyone for a pea - sized brain? Mine is for rent. Serious offers ONLY, please.

// Jan

Personal Branding. How do YOU look like on the Internet.

2011-10-02T09:34:00.001+02:00

Ok, I'm the first to admit. I am just a starting blogger, writing little stories about random thoughts that just happen to pop up in my head. Chains of thoughts and power thinking. Kinda sorta like a power nap, but the opposite.

So last night, around 3:30 Am I woke up and thought over the whole concept of branding. (Ok, I was lying about waking up at 3:30 AM...). Branding, what is that anyways?

"The American Marketing Association (AMA) defines a brand as a "name, term, sign, symbol or design, or a combination of them intended to identify the goods and services of one seller or group of sellers and to differentiate them from those of other sellers."

Official Facebook Logo

This picture is the official logo for a relatively well known Social Networking site. 'Facebook', you might have heard about this venture by Mr. Mark Zuckerberg.

You don't have to really understand the whole concept behind why the Facebook Team came up with this logo, but when you see it, you just know it belongs to Facebook. Even the coloring of the logo is continued in it's products. Amazing, huh? Here is another one:

Microsoft Windows Logo

If you're thinking 'Windows' then you're right. This is actually a later version of the Microsoft Windows logo.

This time it's a logo, without any text. So - only by looking at the shapes used and the colors - you immediately know this breathes Microsoft Windows. In your mind you make the necessary connections, neurons flowing through your brain. A process also known as association.

So where does this whole branding come in while you're writing your weekly blog entry about collecting wheel caps from Eastern European cars? How do you make your blog stand out, find a way to it's readers? It's done by what I call micro-branding. When your readers see a special little logo - your profile picture, your avatar - they just know it comes from you. Their brain makes the connection.

So, basically, this is a pic of me taken back in 2007, during a vacation at the Black Sea in Bulgaria. I have aged since then a little though. So why don't I change the picture? The main reason is that I have been using this particular picture on most all of my internet accounts. So when you see a pic of me eating a lemon then your brain connects the dots.

"Here I is...". Me, trying to make the perfect imitation of my girlfriend when we are playing hide and seek...

So, what's the story behind your logo, avatar, picture? I would like to know. I am curious, you know...

// Jan

Walk Home With Me

2011-10-01T08:51:00.001+02:00

For some of the people who visit this blog once in a while it's no secret I live in The Netherlands. A small country in Western Europe. Anyone that's been reading my profile knows I am from The Hague. The Hague is the city I was born and raised and have been living my whole life. And that's long, I can tell you.

The Hague, an old city. And I mean old. The Hague originated around 1230, when Floris IV, Count of Holland purchased land alongside a pond (now the Hofvijver) in order to build a hunting residence. In 1248 William II, Count of Holland and Rex Romanorum, decided to extend the residence to a palace. And that city is the place where I am happy enough to live.

I'm using public transportation to go to and from work. This has a couple of reasons. Well I don't even own a car, for starters and even if I would have one I wouldn't be using it much because the whole center of The Hague is strictly forbidden for cars. Reason enough. So it's walking - playing a tourist in my home town - carrying a backpack to and from work. Wanna come with me for a walk? I'll be your personal guide.

P H O T O A L B U M

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands. 4x4 Ford.

One of the reasons people don't use cars to go to the center of The Hague is the lack of space, narrow streets and tiny parking spaces. Your average big-ass ole American truck would stand out like a turd on a fresh cut lawn. They just don't fit in the parking spaces.

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, Holland. Bikes having sex.

Because of the small streets we ride bicycles. Millions and millions of bicycles. Around 9 million. Where do they come from? Well I hope I don't have to explain the birds and the bees principle. When a bike is born, it starts out as a little kiddies trike bicycle. And this is how they are made. It's hard work!

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands, Parked bicycles.

See? It's much easier to park a bike. You just chain it to a lamp - post, another bike, whatever. And the Dutch people are so helpful. If you leave your bicycle in the same spot for longer than two days they will start taking it apart. For FREE! That just shows how friendly we are.

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands. We are loving people.

We are friendly. It says here, in plain old French. You better believe us or we will kick the living daylights out of you.

Schoolstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands. Smart Shop

And the main reason why we are all so friendly is depicted here. Smart Shop. Smartness by the pound. I just don't really understand why it's called a 'smart shop'. It should be called a winding down shop or whatever... DUH...

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands. Taxi bike.

More bikes. I'm really thinking about starting a national campaign here in The Hague, called "Ride mor Bike, Moooo". Oh wait, a yellow line means no parking right? Well, the general rule here in The Netherlands for bicycles is "There is no rules for bicycles.". Period.

Prinsenstraat, The Hague, The Netherlands. PINK!

If you're getting sick and tired of riding your trustworthy bicycle you can always get you one of these tough looking scooters. No helmet required. I would not be caught dead on one, colored like this one.

Groenmarkt, The Hague, The Netherlands. Coat of arms.

Old. Very old city. Here's a picture of our city's coat of arms. The stork, eating an eel. This particular one is located on the roof of one of our city halls. We have three, go figure.

Groenmarkt, The Hague, The Netherlands. Oldest city hall.

This is the oldest of the three, rebuilt in 1656. Before that is was a privately owned home since 1392. It's still in active use for weddings and other festivities.

Hoge Wal, The Hague, The Netherlands. Prinsjesdag 2011.

Old and with a lot of tradition. Like here, the opening of the fiscal year 2011. This event takes place every year on the third Tuesday in September. Fiscal. I have absolutely no clue what the festivities are for.

Hoge Wal, The Hague, The Netherlands. Canal.

Canals, almost every bigger city has them. They were used as part of the fortifications to protect the city. Try swimming across one of those, while on the other bank some guy toting a big ax is trying to stop you from reaching the other side. His side. Fat chance you're going to make it.

Gerrit van de Veen laan, The Hague, The Netherlands. Canal.

We're almost home now. just a mile or so. No, this is not a green concrete road, it's a canal colored green from water vegetation. Fertile stuff.

Gerrit van der Veen laan, The Hague, The Netherlands. Supper anyone?

Stop complaining already. Sheesh we're almost there... Do you want a quick snack? Oh wait... Maybe not.

All pictures were taken by me. Either with my camera or my cell. Hope you liked the little walk. Anytime.

// Jan

Internet Secret? Use twitter to promote your blog!

2011-09-28T20:41:00.001+02:00

Today at work we got a lecture annex presentation about a relatively new item going on on the internet. Social media and to be more precise how to use social media as a company tool for - you guessed it - making more money. More people as a (potential) client equals more revenue's, money in the pocket, earnings, profit, dollars, Euro's Yen! Interesting! Cool beans, Tallyho and all that! And for us bloggers the good part is, the same tactics could work for your blog to! Ain't that coolios?

So. What about the use of social media and how to use it and - maybe more important - how to deal with social media as a blogger. The do's and don'ts as I see it, for now by using Twitter as your 'weapon of choice'.

Twitter Logo

Twitter.
If you use twitter you would be amazed what people twitter, twat and twoot about. Most of it is random of the wall posting ranging from "I hate school" to "I am waiting form my retirement check to come in the mail". All compressed in a 140 character micro blog post. just long enough to say 'something' and to short to ramble on about why soccer team A is going to beat their opponent's ass in next Sunday's game. An observation I made on twitter was, that a lot, and I mean a lot, appear to be self-proclaimed SEO experts or self employed advisers... Hmmm. Ok more.

You will need followers. How? Easy. Target users with a lot of followers and follow them and the followers will come to you. Just post a wisecrack in every now and then to keep them interested. It does not matter what kind of people they are. They don't even have to like reading blogs. You want hits and page views on your blog. You just need people that know how to click a link. Well just about anyone can do that. Make it interesting. You could tweet: "http:\\myblog.com Read my blog" or "http:\\myblog.com The latest about twitter SEO tactics to get followers to your blog!". There is a difference. Don't be afraid to post some links to older post you made months ago, but make them good and let them lead the clicker to quality pages on your blog.

Once again, you need followers and you need to keep them interested every now and then. It does not matter if they fall in your interest group, so there is no need to go by each and every one of hem to see if they just happen to love reading blogs.

K. nuff said. I don't want to spoil all the beans and I'm waaaay over my 140 character limit anyways. :)

// Jan

Art New Style!

2011-09-24T11:58:00.000+02:00

Art. Well there's much to say about it, there's been written a lot about it and we all have an opinion about Art. Paining, sculpting, music, video, films, body-art... You name it. Art is fun and something to enjoy. But how is art made. Is it kinda like "Ok... I need to paint something... so let's paint something", or is it more complicated. Or easier?

It was around 2PM in the early afternoon Michelangelo looked up again. He was a painter and temporary living near Rome. Summers - especially Italian summers - were HOT around 1510 there.

"Look, dude... You're working way to hard. White painting those ceilings in this church thing is going way to fast... You gotta slow down bro, It's gonna cost us when we finish early, we have no new contracts yet... Nothing in e-mail, no Twitter messages... No nothing.". "Low look, Danny", Mike replied "I'll work as slow as I can, promise! Just bring me some colurz & small brushes, fool.". Three years later:

~-_0_-~

"Hey, Leo! sup my man?". Leo looked at his friend standing there in his working room. His name was Julio and worked for the guy that asked him to make a portrait of his wife. "I am still working on this portrait. I know it's just a small painting, but I just can't get it right. It's something about the eyes... weird.". Julio asked "What are you going to do about it?". "I have absolutely NO clue...". "It's just plain wrong. I mean at whatever angle I stand, she just seems to follow me around with her eyes...". "Just leave it the way it is, and make a joke about it to the person who asked you to paint it.", Julio continued "Tell him it's a joke. You know. Hey whatever you do, sir, your wife knows... Hahaha". "Oh feckit.". 2 months later:

~-_0_-~

People like Mike and Leo would in current times work as CEO's for a multinational. The name would be Creative Solutions. As history will record: THEY blew up the whole FaceBook social media site with the simple question "Click like if you like the Mona Lisa". I bet she is still using her Twitter account and switched to Google+.

// Jan

Tattoo

2011-09-20T21:38:00.001+02:00

Tattoo's have always intrigued me. For me - as a total tattoo n00b - having a tattoo is some form of commitment, maybe stating a belief in something or someone, but always a permanent thing. Some I don't like and some I do. Where do they come from? Is there another meaning to having a tattoo, for example fashion, or religion? I don't know, but I want to know...

So I went to investigate, The internet - being my closest source of information - and I talked to some people about tattoo's in general.

The answer I heard most was "Well... It depends". Depends on what? "If the person likes it." Fair enough, why would you walk around your whole life with something on your body you don't like.

In my mind, tattoos are related to sailors. Maybe for the anchors, life preservers that are used in tattoo designs often. Maybe I don't know enough about them. From what I read: "A tattoo is body art made by inserting indelible ink into the dermis layer of the skin to change the pigment. Tattoos on humans are a type of decorative body modification, while tattoos on animals are most commonly used for identification purposes. The first written reference to the word, "tattoo" (or Samoan "Tatau") appears in the journal of Joseph Banks, the naturalist aboard Captain Cook's ship the HMS Endeavour in 1769: "I shall now mention the way they mark themselves indelibly, each of them is so marked by their humor or disposition"." [Source: Wikipedia]

Personally I can see the the beauty in a well designed and applied tattoo and I know that it might take a very long time for someone to get a tattoo.

It's a choice one takes, like said before, a commitment. Maybe sometimes a little bit of exhibitionism. I can appreciate a good tattoo, as long as it's worn with pride by the owner, whatever statement - if there is one - he or she wants to proclaim.

So be it. And it was good. I have 2, very tiny ones, all black. Made them myself with east-indian ink and a needle. They mean a lot to me.

// Jan

You are Dutch When...

2011-09-17T12:09:00.000+02:00

Well... A few times I have been asked "What is it like to live in Holland..." or "Is it true what they say about Dutch girls..", in short, I got the feeling 'they' wanted to know more about The Netherlands. But... First things first. There is no country named 'Holland'. Period. That name has a historical origin. Wikipedia has it right to, I just knew it: "Holland is a name in common usage given to a region in the western part of the Netherlands...

The Netherlands (The Low Land) originally got the lame from the fact that a large part of the country lies under sea level. Not under water. DUH. So where does 'Dutch', the name of the inhabitants of the Netherlands came from? Dutch people and their descendants are found in migrant communities worldwide, notably in Suriname, Chile, Brazil, Canada, Australia, South Africa, New Zealand, and the United States. So what makes a person living in The Netherlands Dutch and/or what makes a Dutch Dutch?

Weather
You are Dutch when you complain about the weather. All the time, no matter how the weather is like. It's always to rainy, windy, stormy, cold, hot, dry, humid, cloudy, clear, it does not really matter. We just take complaining about the weather to a different level.

Stormy day at the beach

Weather
Ditto, see above. :)

Pot leave

Drug Laws
You are Dutch when you actually understand the concept of tolerating the personal use and growing of certain types of soft drugs. It's against the law, but we are allowed by the same law to grow, buy, smoke pot. Tulips, another thing we're supposedly famous for are not considered to be soft drugs.

Klompen or 'Clogs' - 'Wooden Shoes'

Wooden Shoes
It's said that they are warm in winter and cool on hot summers days. The wooden shoes, or as we call them 'Klompen'. (Clogs). There's a pair for any occasion: everyday use, work, weddings end even fishing. Multi purpose shoes. :)

Dutch girls eating raw herring.

Food
You are Dutch when you understand that we have no cuisine whatsoever. Mostly stews, one pot meals, ready for farmers to eat at dinnertime. (Somewhere around 12 PM). Eating raw herring does not make you puke all over your gf / bf newly bought Gucci outfit (Bells Outlet, $ 39,99 and up).

Tulips

Tulips
You are Dutch when you're perfectly ok with taking all the credit for those flowers when you darn well know they originate from Turkey.

Sinterklaas & Piet

Culture
You are Dutch when you know and truly understand the whole 'Sinterklaas' thing. The Dutch version of Christmas. Saint Nicolaus. Born on the sixth of December, but celebrating his birthday in the evening of the fifth of December. You have no trouble with the fact that he has black slaves working for him (The Moors or 'Zwarte Pieten'). There was an experiment done about the whole somewhat racist concept behind 'Sinterklaas' with a black colored 'Sinterklaas' and white slaves. The little kids never noticed the difference.

Tolerance

Tolerance
You are Dutch when you are tolerant towards other people's culture, sexual preferences, religion, habits, race, and don't see it a problem to make some money out of that situation. Example? A Turkisch man living in The Netherlands, Selling Italian Pizza and Egyptian Shoarma.

Patriotism, showing her assets

Girls
The Dutch girls are [censored]... :)

Windmill in 'Groot Ammers'

Wind Mills
Used for just about anything hat needs power of some sort. They are the predecessors of the steam engine, invented by Watt, They can be used for making flour, paint, mustard, pumping water and flossing your teeth...

Red Light District, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Sex
Industry. Liberal and open. You are Dutch when you know the Red Light District in Amsterdam like the back of your hand and know the prostitutes by name.

I could go on forever with that list, but I won't. Maybe someday i'll just pick one or two of the subjects on this page and and write a seperate blog about it. Any suggestions?

// Jan

Blogger: Update on Browser Support

2011-09-17T09:40:00.000+02:00

Blogger: Update on Browser Support
Important notice for bloggers, using the blogger.com platform. Support for older browsers will be discontinued, starting August 1st.

Bloggers.com is switching to advanced browser support, like dnamic HTML, advanced Webfonst and more. Your blog might need some reviewing on the lay-out.

// Jan

Whoops. Whut?

2011-09-15T21:23:00.001+02:00

For you who don't know, I live in Holland. Known for a few things that - maybe - I'm going to cover in another blog entry, but not right now. Well OK. We're a country where tradition is very important. We have a queen as the head of state, a prime minister and a multiparty cabinet. And it's basically a mess. Kinda sorta but not really.

One of the traditions we have is the opening - or better said - the announcement of what kind of measures will be necessarily to maintain our standards of live. Mostly bad news. :)

This ceremony happens every year in the third Tuesday on September. Fun ride for the queen, riding a 'golden' carriage, pulled by eight black Frysian stallions. The whole shebang. Music, military bands, lots of police. Fun, fun, fun.

The plans for the next fiscal year are supposed to be a well - kept secret until the day it's being read by the queen for the whole assembly. Ah... you were paying attention! 'Are supposed to be a well - kept secret'. Today it was on the evening news and the news - papers that somehow the news kinda erm.. leaked. A company called Facetbase is being held resposible for the leak. Where is a decent plumber when you need one? So now all the plans are public. there are even some links where you can download the whole file.

They know (the government) that it's a yearly battle between then and the journalists. The government want to keep it a secret and the journalists want to have the documents. How hard can it be to keep it a secret?

Well, the answer is 'Don't put in on-line'. Everything one puts on the internet is public, somehow. It's there, out in the open for anyone with a little computer and network security knowledge. Oh well.

Lessons learnt? Well nothing much really, I think the same battle will take place next year again, and again, and again.

Oh, did I mention that whatever you put on the trustworthy ole internet is - despite security - public to? Makes you wonder huh? What do you post on the internet? Think about it.

// Jan

A Big Thanks

2011-09-14T21:07:00.001+02:00

Well, guess the title says it all. Thanks to all you members, viewers, passer by's, stalkers, spammers. We're getting close to 20,000 hits / pageviews since May 19th 2011. Hugs & kisses for the girls and a firm handshake for the boys.

Thanks!

// Jan

Changing Seasons

2011-09-13T21:42:00.000+02:00

Aaargh! I know, I know... This is not the nicest way to start a blog - post, but hey, that's just the way I feel. Today it is - let me check on the computer - the 13th September 2011. It's not only the 13th, but it was full moon last night, and we had a bit of a storm yesterday. Pffft. Wind in a hurry, as I like to call it.

I left work late that day, for a fifteen minutes walk to the tram - stop. Well, for those of you that have no clue what a tram is, it's some sort of mini subway train, riding part underground and part above the ground. Guess you lost me already, huh?

Anyways. There were some signs of the above mentioned 'wind in a hurry' on the streets. Blown off branches, leaves everywhere. My cap was almost blown of by the wind and almost ended up in one of the channels. Bought that sucker in Pensacola, Florida. It says 'CRABS' on it. The seafood kind. My girlfriend and me went to that restaurant and all the waitresses were wearing t-shirts that said: "CRABS, We got them!". Nice, huh? The food was pretty awesome though especially the oysters. Interested? Go here.

When I got in the tram I went on a 15 minutes drive to the tram-stop near my house. Kind of a bumpy ride it was. The whole thing was veering from left to right (or the other way around, I don't remember)...

When I got off from the tram - again - a little walk, now to my home. On my way there I saw a blown - over tree. Taken down by the storm. It looked like Mr and Mrs Beaver wanted to take permanent residence there. Hmmm. That means trouble, because - before you know it - there will be tons and tons of little baby beavers and beaverettes. Not a good thing.

Ok, now why am I rambling on and on about this? Well... I just hate storms, cold weather, falling leaves, autumn. Yeah I can hear you all say. "Yeah but the trees look so pretty, with their red and golden leaves diffusing the autumn sun into myriades of tiny shiny golden sparkles, reflecting into the water, making it glow like hot embers in a smoldering fire.". Yeah right.

There's one good thing about stormy weather though. Just try to imagine how difficult it is for girls to ride a bicycle in a 'decent' manner wearing a skirt. Parachute time! I feel better now, thanks for your patience... :)

// Jan

Storyteller

2011-09-11T20:07:00.001+02:00

As young children we were told by the elders that he only stopped at our village once every ten years. And through the tales of our tribe we learned and understood at an early age that that 'once in a decade' time had arrived. It was today.

We were told that the storyteller was different. Different in skin color, different in his beliefs and different in his perception of how the world should look like. Knowing that made us wonder what kind of person he really was. We were exited about his arrival that night, a little scared to, because we didn't know what to expect. We didn't know what to do, we didn't know what to think, we didn't know how to act, who or what to believe. Our minds were like books with blank pages, ready to be written on with the black ink of truth. We became to the age to face the monster the elders have been telling us about all those years.

What the elders had told us so far were just snippets, fragments, blurry images from hundreds and hundreds years ago. Each image a copy from the previous one, only blurrier, tainted by time.

He supposedly wore a mask of some sort to hide his face. His eyes were dark and the few elders that had seen his eyes were not there anymore to tell in detail what he was like. We were told that he was a force to be reckoned with. No one knew for sure. Anything in detail? No, the story had been told many a year now, each story a copy of the previous one, only blurrier, tainted by time. Where would he go after he visited us? Why did we let him enter out village while all people were afraid of him? Why didn't the elders send out mighty warriors to block his path? Why didn't the warriors kill him, prevent him from telling his stories to us? The stories we were told to be lies? Why?

The village drum that has warned us for centuries now, when danger approaches, sounded. "Thump, thump, thump", a dry, almost crackling sound, like a heavy thunderstorm raging over our heads in anger. Intimidating, contributing to our understanding that real evil was coming near. Staring to the ground, we didn't dare to look up for one second. To - maybe - face our fears.

We were told during rehearsals of the ceremony we were to be seated around the central fire, lit the last night, embers red, blue and pink, still hot and burning.

He started to tell his story, like he has been doing for centuries. His voice sounded dark and strong, the crackling sound of the drums had stopped. As if in awe of this moment.

The mask fell to the ground and we braced ourselves, fearing what we feared most. The truth. "My name is not important" he said. "I am just a storyteller and I tell my story. Like my father did before me and his father did before him. My story is real and my story is honest and comes to the hearts of everybody willing to learn.". He continued: "I Am your greatest fear. Ignorance for what one does not really know, only because we have been taught to think like this by our elders.". A strong gust of wind caused the embers in the fire to glow more intense. "You have come to the age of learning that in life your biggest fear is not knowing, therefor you must learn beyond the boundaries your elders set for you. Limitations. Knowledge are the shackles in the chain you would call your lives. You have to learn to build your lives around what you know is true, not the truth your elders learnt you. Your truth is a reflection of your inner soul, the things you believe in. Being afraid of the unknown will choke your souls' development. Being afraid equals ignorance. The truth is universal in your own world and chains of thoughts. Think.".

He turned around and walked away. We were left behind. Children. Are we on our own now? Will he be back in ten years from now, the storyteller? What will we tell our children ten years from now? The same story? A copy of the previous one, only blurrier, tainted by the hand of time? Do we let our children believe our fears of the unknown are theirs to? Will we? Should we?

// Jan

Love raw Deal?

2011-09-10T08:13:00.001+02:00

So, the two of you went through the whole routine. Well, ya know, meet, date, exchange some unique identifier numbers, like phone numbers, email addy's, Blackberry PIN's and whatever numbers you like - even before swapping spit - and fall in love. Well... big deal.

But - as the little fairy tale continues - You really get to know each other and like each other for the people you really are. Other than just the physical attraction both ways there is more. and more.

You start calling each other more, to the point the phone bills stack up so high, there's no way to jump over them any more. Your brand new cell's buttons are jammed and / or falling of, because of the misuse and battering they have to suffer all day and night in your frantic attempts to text at least 75 times a day. The sentence "Kiss... I love you to. Xxx." has deserved it's place under one of your cells hot keys.

There's more, you're (BIG WORD ALERT) In Love. You're even considering living together. You can't live without each other any more. Moving in together. Ready for a new adventure.

Building a new life - together, Getting the groceries - together, sleep together, wake up together, take a shower together. Everything together, well almost... Going to the bathroom is still some kind of a 'private' moment, so to speak.

Then, just out of nowhere 'THE FEELING' may start to develop. "I get the feeling that...". You know.

Men will notice that...
- Facial masks girls use do not crack them up. Ever met a girl wearing a facial mask in a dark hallway in your home?
- Pads and cotton balls are actually living creatures. They tend to show up everywhere - and for the cotton balls - no one knows what they're used for. They don't taste like marshmallows.
- PMS - that being the pre- or post- kind are part of real life and are to be taken serious.
- Girls stink - on average - the bathroom up, just like men.
- There's tons and tons of toilet paper stacked everywhere, a minimum of 12 rolls per bathroom seems to be the standard deal.

Girls will notice that...
- For a man it's considered to be perfectly ok to scratch your private parts in public.
- A guys' six-pack can change into a beer-gut overnight.
- Men don't have a well developed sense of direction when it comes to peeing in the toilet as opposed to everywhere around it.
- Men consider healthy food to be the little piece of lettuce on their super sized hamburger with extra cheese and bacon, lots and lots of bacon.
- Underwear can be worn for four days in a row. turning it inside out will double that to eight days.
- Men like sex - no foreplay.
- Men start wearing stupid t-shirts. "Worlds Biggest Midget". and start wearing their Home Depot caps backwards.
- Don't shave in four days equals the "Grunchy look", men think. It can cause a bad rash...
- Men think their hairs in the sink will disappear by magic.
- Clipping your toenails in the living room is a cool thing to do

Yup, I could go on, making that list longer and longer. But you know what... The next time when you two go out to WallyWorld to people watch and do some heavy duty groceries bargain hunting and he asks you "C'mon woman, git in tha truck". You know he loves you. He just does. We men just don't know any better. :)

// Jan

Psychology for Dummies

2011-09-08T07:36:00.001+02:00

Well... I even had to look that word up in an on-line dictionary to just know how it's spelled and I think I got it spelled right now. *Looks again* yup, seems to be spelled right. You know I am a foreigner, right?

Wikipedia says - and as we all know, Wikipedia is always right - "Psychology is the science of behavior and mental processes. Its immediate goal is to understand individuals and groups by both establishing general principles and researching specific cases.".

So what brought me to thinking about all this. I mean I always believed that psychology was a profession for (mostly) men dressed in slacks, wearing shirts with bow ties under a brown vest, wearing sandals and smoking a pipe saying "Uhmmm" a lot.

Because I never know what kind of internet - browser a reader of my blog is using, I installed three in total: Internet Exploder, Google Chrome and Safari, because my blogs stats showed that these browsers are the most commonly used. Oh bliss, now I have three browsers on my system asking me all the time "XXX is not your default browser. Do you want XXX to be your default browser?". I click no. Every time. And the browsers keep on asking me that. It makes me want to scream at the browser and holler "That's the 29 time you asked this! I said NO 28 times before.". Oh well.

When I installed Apples' Safari I was asked to participate in a little survey. You know what I am talking about, "It will only take 20 seconds of your time." When the survey ended I was presented this picture that should show what kind of person I am, based upon the answers to the questions I gave earlier.

I have absolutely NO clue what this says about me. But I could try to evaluate this like a wannabe shrink. "Uhmmm" :)
Ok, I have 2 cell phones, I'm sad to admit. So this means I have a private and a work - life. I have a little black book and an agenda (2011). So I plan, mostly, I think. The scrabble K means I like wordplay. The compass means I have found the North? The thermometer of course means I like warm weather, the "Three stooges thing" means I yam who I yam. Earplugs stands for my love of music, The Statue of Liberty stands for freedom. Is that a lighter? Yes I smoke, The card is the third card in the third house of Blach-Med-Lima, which stands for my stubbornness. Well I know I missed a few things there, but I have no clue what they mean. Tsk. Stupid surveys...

Now they know my browsing habits because I answered a few questions. They think. Well... I lied! There!

// Jan

Versatile Blogger Awards

2011-09-06T21:37:00.001+02:00

Sometimes just an unexpected little 'something' happens. I got an award. Well what I should do now, is nominate fifteen fellow bloggers to pass it on in order to make us pump out some more pretty informative, funny, stupid, cake baking, needlework, SEO, Nerd blogging posts to entertain the world.
It was given to me by: Teresa Cypher. May the ancient God of Blogphemius reward her.

So proudly I present:

Versatile Blogger Award.

Now I have to pass it on to some of my blogging friends. Heck, I don't even have friends in the so-called 'real life'. Yelp! :)

Oh one more thing. When you get this award, you have to tell 7 (seven) things about yourself. The people you give this award to are supposed to do the same and link to their friends blogs, and so on. YOU have to be mentioned on the pages to.

[Update]
Seven things about myself:
#1 My name is pronounced 'Jan', not Jan.
#2 I have lived all my life in The Hague, The Netherlands and I'm darn proud of that.
#3 I hate talking about myself.
#4 I love and am in love with my best friend Julie.
#5 My favorite southern meal would be fried okra with cornbread (Mom made me say that...)
#6 Some people tell me I have some Spanish blood running through my veins. (The Dutch were occupied by the Spanish during a 80 years lasting war looong time ago)
#7 I can survive 110F temperatures and still feel cold.

And off the record: I do eat raw herring. Sometimes. A little bite. Really small bite.

So here's the list I can come up with. In random order:
Mel Dreams Often Nope, she's already got one... Sawry, Mel.
The Honest Truth By The Honest Bitch. She tells it like it is. Period.
Dreamers, lovers, and Star Voyagers. Splendid writings and observations by Teresa.
How a Greek Sees It. By Marcella, a.k.a. Marky. Support her with her quest to complete a 30 day movie challenge.
Oh Em Bee. By Emily. Starting blogger.
The Redneck Princess. Family, stories and I suspect some hidden needlepoint tips & tricks.
Confessions of a Crazy Mommy. A mommy's blog with humor and a twist.

// Jan

Courtesy

2011-09-05T19:46:00.001+02:00

Well I don't know anymore... Courtesy toward women I mean. For a man it's confusing at times. I just want some rationality brought to the whole thing. I was looking on the internet - where else - to find some good and honest information. I visited 2.612.456 sites but all I got was some - hopefully good meant - advice followed by tons and tons of commercial offers ranging from buying a dozen long stemmed roses to 'the best way to put on aftershave'.

No such thing as 'Courtesy for Dummies' available at the better book stores. No on-line courses not webinars. All I have learnt about courtesy is to do a 'courtesy flush' once in a while, depending what was for diner the night before. Oh well. I'm just a man.

I would help an elderly lady cross the road - that is if she won't smack me over the head with her purse that has been made heavier by putting a brick in it, because she likes the sound of a scull being shattered in a billion shards by a blunt object. Guess there's a zillion pages available on the internet that teaches those innocent little ole ladies how to prepare themselves for people like me attacking her. Bless her little heart.

I want the old times back, darnit! And when I say old, I mean old. Things were much more simple back then. Back in the Neanderthal days men were the providers of food for their spouse, that and laying on a bearskin all day.

Every once in a while the man hit his wife over the head with a club, made out carefully selected hickory wood, in a loving way. Not a blow to kill, but a gentle, loving blow. No bruises, no hurt - well not much anyways - just enough to convince her that it's that time of the day... Again. Romance? Talking? Showing feelings? Naaaah, none of that.

Just doing what Mr. Darwin proved ages and ages later in his book: 'The Origin of Species'. Breeding. Make little Neanderthalers and Neanderthalettes. Making sure his pension was in order for times when he got to old to lay on a bearskin all day.

Simple. I am not saying things were better back then, just simple. And that's what we like, modern men, simple. Nothing really changed over the last couple of hundred thousand years. I'm thinking about buying a slightly used club on E-bay and see what's on sale. Something made out of Rosewood I think. It matches perfectly with that bearskin.

// Jan

P.s. For the one or two people that don't read tags on a post: "This is Fiction, a little Story and for Fun".

Dutch Mountains

2011-09-04T10:02:00.000+02:00

Maybe you've heard it on the news (I saw it on CNN earlier than on the Dutch news) that 'they're' thinking about constructing a mountain in Holland, the little spec on the map where I was hatched... Well, I think you need to understand a little more about Holland or 'The Lowlands' how it's often called.

It's not called 'The Lowlands' for no reason. Because 'low' it is. Flat as a pancake and about 50% of the country lies below sea level. That story about the little boy sticking his finger in the dyke (pardon the pun...) is there for a reason.

The estimated costs for realizing a project of that magnitude are staggering. Estimated costs? $ 200 Billion and - lessons learnt from the past - $ 300 Billion will be easily spent.

What do we all get for that? Well, first of all a 2000 meters (6000 foot) pimple in the middle of nowhere. That is... If they're able to find a spot, big enough to build it. We're living with 17,000,000 Dutchies in this little country. Well if I came from Germany I wouldn't know to point Holland out on an European map. Oh well. One of the bigger Dutch newspapers wrote a series of articles about it. I mean, they're all serious about all this.

I wonder how finding investors for a project like this works. Where do you get $ 300,000,000,000?

Maybe it goes a little bit like this: Picture yourself attending a party where the Captains of industry talk about some heavy duty commercial deals and ventures coming up... "Hey, Mike... Did you hear about the plan they have about building an artificial mountain in Holland? They're looking for investors. What do you think?". "I don't know, Jake. I mean, what's up with these guys? Are they high on dope, or what?". "Haha, do you know what? I'm taking an option for 3.5 Mil and see what happens, maybe I'll get some revenues from that back again. I mean... It really doesn't matter. I could take out the wife on a shopping spree and she'll probably spend the same amount and I never see anything back from that investment other than some late night lip service in bed! Hahaha...". "Ok, Jake, I'll double your bid and tell the little missy the has to wait for her second boob job.". "You are killing me, Mike, I mean you had me thinking there for a moment she was all lopsided. Hahaha...".

Guess some people have it all - do they? Oh well, it's Sunday morning and I am in desperate need of a hot cup of tea.

// Jan

True Love

2011-09-01T21:59:00.002+02:00

Like always - right after they had supper - they sat outside on the porch of their home reviewing all that has happened that day. Joe - his friends called him the Bulk - and his wife Annne. They shared the same home and bed for the last 59 years.

Anne was born in Europe, Germany where she had been living with her parents. She grew up in a happy little family and had an older brother who passed away at the early age of 39 and a younger sister. Not long after the Second World War ended she moved to the promised land, the United States of America and she met Joe. A typical, hard working man. He was tall and handsome, had dark hair and treated her like a lady - like she deserved. He was strong and had large, strong hands. He protected and took care of her and was in her eyes Mr. Perfect. If you would ask any of their neighbors they would all agree, a perfect couple, attending church every Sunday.

She gave birth to two beautiful children that - after finishing high school - spread their wings and left the parental nest. Just what you would expect to happen in a perfect family. But every family has at least one skeleton hidden in a closet.

"Do you love me?" Anne asked, almost a rhetoric question, knowing the answer already. "Yes I do." Joe said, following the acrobatic moves of two squirrels chasing each other on the fence, surrounding his property. Distracted, it seemed.
"Anne, do you love me?" Joe asked back, still watching the squirrels, knowing she would answer his question with the simple "I do, Joe"...
"No, Joe, I don't love you. I stopped loving you when you started to abuse me. Physically and mentally."
The squirrels stopped dead in their tracks, almost if they could feel the tension building up between the elderly couple. "As a matter of fact, Joe, I am flying home tomorrow. To home, Germany, to live with my sister. I have had enough abuse for one lifetime." Joe looked at his wife in total disbelieve, mouth open, a puzzled look on his face.
"Enough is enough, Joe. I stayed with you all these years. First because of the children, later because I was afraid of what the family would say and..." She continued "I am afraid of you. So... I'm leaving you tomorrow and I'll worry about the consequences later. I decided to choose for my own happiness". Anne flew home the next day. They never spoke to each other again...

It's never to late to step out of an abusive relationship. When necessary you have to choose for yourself and deal with the consequences later. There is always a choice and a way out.

// Jan

Plus+

2011-08-31T20:14:00.002+02:00

Google. Without any doubt the #1 search engine on the world wide web. They're always on the move, discovering new technical innovations, implementing new concepts and ideas and - it looks like it anyways - always one step ahead of the competitors, like Bling, Yahoo and Facebook.

When it comes to SEO (Search Engine Optimization) professionals they are the one internet search engine. Putting a customer on the first page of Google in a typical search for their customer is their goal, that's what it's all about. Money wise. There's a lot to be earned in that field of work, SEO professionals are constant busy improving their market value, in order to make more dollars.

The page ranking of a site is determined by a very complex algorithm. "The Google Page Rank value relies on the uniquely democratic nature of the Internet by using its vast global link structure as a prime indicator of an individual page's value. In essence, Google interprets a link from page A to page B as a vote, by page A, for page B. But, Google looks at more than the sheer volume of votes, or links a page receives. It also analyzes the page that casts the vote. Votes cast by pages that are themselves important or are favorably viewed as "established firms" in the Web community weigh more heavily and help to make other pages look established too." [Source: Rankforsales].

Google now is introducing the Google+ community, thought up by the guru's to let the people communicate and share data using cross account data linking. Google Profiles, OpenID and the possibility to log in using Twitter, Orkut, and a lot of other communities. On top of that they introduced the Google +1 Button. Google is very careful to make the reader understand it's just a handy gadget, made to improve the browsing experience.

It sounds all real handy for the internet users. Google +1 a site and people will understand that that is a site that can be trusted. That will generate more traffic for that website and thus more income for the site's owner. Recently Google has announced, that the community rating (Impressions of the Google +1 Button) will play a factor when determining a sites page-ranking. Still, that whole setup doesn't sound weird at all, because it'll help the people using the internet to visit trusted sites, helping them to pick the right ones for their information. It's a still fuzzy how the Google +1 Button will play a part - or even a big role - in determining the page rankings for internet sites.

But wait... I am missing a number in the equation. Let's think what this all implies.

Site A has absolutely no impressions from the Google +1 Button tool. So the site has a neutral attraction to future visitors.

Site B has 100,000 Google +1 Button impressions. That means for the general public, that the site can be trusted, because apparently lots of visitors choosed to visit that site and give it their OK. The site has a positive attitude towards the visitors.

Site C is well known for the fact it distributes illegal software and installing unwanted applications and Trojan horses on the visitor's computer. ONE visitor (probably the owner of that site) gave it a Google +1 Button impression. To the general public it looks like the site can be trusted because it has a positive attraction. +1 = +1.

What we - as users / customers need is a Google -1 Button tool. In the case of site C in the example above, it would show a -99,999 attraction. Negative. Other social network sites, like Facebook suffer from the same problem. You can only LIKE a certain post, but never DISLIKE from the start. Calculations... Ain't it a funny thing?

Google Launches +1 Chrome Extension; Facebook Follows Suit With “Like” Button.: 'via Blog this'

// Jan

Birthday

2011-08-31T02:48:00.001+02:00

Okay. Let's face it, I had my birthday yesterday. And - as most people I think - I have some trouble with the whole concept 'Birthday'. As I see it, the concept of 'Birthday' covers a celebration of a certain event, 'The Day I Was Born'. Let's try to go into that a little deeper.

Birth. One moment you're floating around in a warm, dark, fluid environment for nine months and then - just when you're dozing of to have your afternoon nap - Whammo! You get forced out head first. You see a bright light and no matter how hard you try not to leave your comfy home, you're forced out. Thoughts like "did my cheque for the rent bounce?" race through your little, not fully developed head. Just when you think "Oh no... that's never gonna fit..." you enter a complete new, dry, cold environment. Masked people.

Next thing you know you're in mid - air, upside - down and you get a slap on your butt. They want you to cry, for some obscure reason. You're not used to be the slappee. There's always been a comforting wall between you and this hostile outside. Protection. Now it's all gone. You're on your own now. Yelp!

You're being rolled into a bunch of rags to dry you off. You don't know where those people come from, what they want from you. You are being picked up again by some stranger. You're on this wold now for a few minutes and now they want you to make leg movements like you're walking? "Leave me alone" you think "I was just dozing off for my nap, leave me alone! It'll take me a few more months before I can walk.".

My point is... The whole process of being born doesn't seem to be a very joyful moment. Lots of stress. No good. Why celebrate that moment? To forget you were born? Maybe...

I hope this will give you some ammo when someone wishes you a happy birthday. Looking at their shocked reactions will make up for the hurt and sorrow your birth caused you. Happy Ranting! :)

// Jan

Facebook Fun

2011-08-28T19:59:00.001+02:00

Facebook's Official Company Logo.

Facebook. 'Just' one of the Social Networking sites available right now. Google+ is on the rise, determined to knock Facebook's reign down. Will they be successful? No one knows. Meanwhile Facebook's CEO

Mark Zuckerberg stated in an interview that his company is planning on breaking the 1,000,000,000 member mark "real soon". We'll see. A little skepticism is always good. At least it will give us a playing ground to have fun by making new friends, restoring old friendships, staying in touch with family members or finding missing ones (that can be a real shocker sometimes).

If we're having not enough fun, doing the 'normal' stuff one's supposed to be doing while interacting with people like we're supposed to do, there's always some things to discover and take advantage of. So here's some fun stuff for Facebook, a rough guide.

Backup
Always good advice. Did you know you can save all of your Facebook profile data in a file and let Facebook send it to you?
Solution
Go to your 'Account' and click on 'Account Settings' and click on the link "Download a copy of your Facebook data". It will take some time for the download to generate all the data, so check back on that page later to start the download. You are asked to re-enter your password.

Option to download your Facebook data...

The download will take a while. My download consisted of a 127Mb .zip file and took around 7 minutes to complete.

I was kinda curious for the download to complete, because I wanted to know what's in that file I just downloaded. After I unzipped it to a folder I got a perfect example of what kind of data Facebook stores of me and millions of other users. Profile page, everything that has been posted on my wall since day one, all my pictures, messages, names of my friends, everything. This needs more investigation. I smell something. Waaaroooof.

To be continued...

Update: 08/30/2011.
So... I finished investigating the zipfile I downloaded earlier from Facebook, containing my data. Let me see if I can explain what I found there. First of all - I have to say - the Facebook wiz kids did a good job. The file is well organized and when you unzip it to a folder you can browse the stuff you have on Facebook. In my case, the file contained 41 folders and 1069 files.To start browsing just click the "index.html" file.

Well... to make a long story short, Everything I ever posted on my wall, uploaded to Facebook, the names of all my friends, everything I put in my profile, the whole shebang. Awesome, one might say, but Facebook has your data stored to, somewhere on their huge cloud networks. That's pure gold, babay... Money in the pocket. And all provided to them for free, us, the users.

The privacy statement that Facebook has on their site changes constantly, if you didn't notice that. Why? For what? I don't really believe in conspiracy theories, but what if all that data - and the power that comes with it - falls into the wrong hands? Do I really have a guarantee from Facebook covering that?

Let's see... I want a data set of all male Facebook users in The Netherlands, that like the webpage "womenmotorcyclists.com" and like the Disney movie "Bambi".

Pseudocode:

SELECT * FROM ALL_DATA
WHERE UPPER(MEMBER_SEX) = 'MALE'
AND UPPER (MEMBER_COUNTRY) = 'THE NETHERLANDS'
AND UPPER (MEMBER_WEBLIKE) = "WWW.WOMENMOTORCYCLISTS.COM"
AND UPPER(MEMBER_FAV_MOVIE) = 'BAMBI'

Need i say more? You're smart enough to find out some more 'marketeer ready' searches on that alone. Now suppose we all connect the data of your friends, colleagues and family. [ZONK].

// Jan

Irene

2011-08-28T09:07:00.001+02:00

Irene. Not only a buzz-word that was over the internet for the last couple of days, but a real phenomon raging over the Bahamas until made landfall in the United States of America. On August 26th, 08:00 AM EDT Irene started a predicted course along the east coast of the U.S starting in Cape Hatteras, North Carolina.

Hurricane Irene.
As clearly can been seen, the size of the hurricane is huge, to say the least. As you can see, it covers a few states, engulfing them with heavy winds and rainfall.

The hurricane was expected to hit the East of the U.S., in itself that is a remarkable event. As I was following the news over the television and internet the hurricane became a real 'thing' to me. Monstrous, and I (not living in the U.S.) felt like I was watching a typical 'disaster movie'. Irene has reached out her claws and was ready to get a big bite out of the U.S. The events followed each other, Facebook, Twitter, CNN, FOX News, The Huffington Post (UK Edition with headlines bigger than I ever saw on the internet),Webcam sites, and everybody tumbled over each other to bring the latest. They all sent out reporters to be eye-witnesses to the events unfolding, hoping to get a dramatic shot of a tree blown over. Because - let's face it - she hasn't been really bad to the nation. Category 2 or 1 when she burried her teeth in the U.S., gnawing at her coastal lines.

A welcome to Irene.
The whole event was well predicted, documented, followed by weather stations, the army, the government, stock market brokers and simple people like you and me. Irene. A name to be remembered. Multi - Billion dollar damages. When it was announced, that Irene's strength diminished to a category one storm the first signs of the well known 'Phew' feelings became visible in the nations news spreading stations and channels and the people on the streets. I read someone's comment on Twitter "The low closing rates in Wall Street today were caused by a fourth category excuse named Irene". Humor? Just a human way of dealing with stressful situations. If you can't beat the enemy, make fun of him - or her - in this case. New York made it's first evacuation ever. Over 370,000 people were on mandatory evacuation. The New York Times office was buzzing with rumors, opinions, questions and insecurity about what to write in their on-line editions

[Editorial Update] : Irene made a second landfall according to CNN. Second landfall is quite unusual for a hurricane, because they tend to bend of to the east-north direction after a landfall.

Irene didn't do what was expected of her, she did not cause the multi-Billion dollar and hundreds, maybe thousands of lives costing, once in a hundred years catastrophic event. She has not been a bad girl. And that's a good thing. On the other hand... If you are living in North Carolina and lost your wife because of the storm, do you still think "Oh, it wasn't to bad after all?". I don't think so...

// Jan

~O~Rama

2011-08-22T22:39:00.001+02:00

The title of this blog is "Biertjuh58 Blogorama". The description of the blog is "A collection of nick-nacks, thingamajigs and other dust collecting items." as if you all haven't seen that. DUH. Well... that - the title of this humble blog - has it's origin. If you look into things a little further than just the superficial meaning of it you'll find things out. Like...

1959 Movie Poster.

In general anything kinda sorta mixed with the words O-Rama is a collection, a display of different events or objects. They are divers and intended to amuse or in any other way keep people occupied, their attention glued to a waterfall of passing events, thoughts, images and sounds. Here you'll find a typical search using the ole thrustworthy Google Internet Search Engine on this subject.

I've seen any "subject - O-Rama" combination you can imagine. From movies, music, paintings, general art, writing all the way down the "sophistication ladder" to pron~o~rama. Oh well. Whatever makes your boat float. Or your eggs whisk for that matter.

In general the word O-Rama has some kind to 'trashy' feel to it. Now always, there's always exceptions to the rule. Kinda sorta... Well anyways, here's some more examples and maybe, just maybe when you are really bored you can do your own little investigation on this. You'll be surprised.

Happy Googling, Binging, Yahooing or whatever your favorite search tool is.

Advertisement for a biking event.

Classy Movie Poster...

// Jan

Troll

2011-08-21T13:21:00.002+02:00

"Once upon a time...", the words that usually signal the beginning of a fairy tale. Well, comparing being an active member of a social network with a fairy tale just does not work. There's nothing so fairy tale-lish about it. Let's introduce the Troll.

Using social networking sites and programs, like Facebook, MSM Messenger, Hyves, Google+ and the thousands of other ways of getting / staying in touch with people every once in a while one of those trolls pops up. In ICT wording, what's the definition of a troll anyways?

Now that we know this, we can go investihate some more. Roughly there are three types of Trools - and I mean the kind that roam the internet - we have to distinquish. Trools are what we make them. In the 'olden days' of internet people wrote "DNFTT", meaning "Do Not Feed The Troll"... sometimes things just make sense.

Let's go!

Troll Type #1: The "Trolling to get attention" type: This one is mostly harmless. Usually looks to build off someone's online sheen and tries to jump in on conversations without meaning harm, and usually just attempting to increase their social media mojo.

Troll Type #2: The "Trolling to be malicious" type: This one usually has a blog and will go out and try to identify "victims" of online shakedowns that work a little like this: They write bad, mean spirited blog about you, your brand, your company, your presence etc. Then, they sit back and wait for traffic on their blog from you and all your supporters. They relish writing nasty things, even if not true. They relish trying to take down brands and people.

Troll Type #3: The "Trolling to be dangerous" type: This one is dangerous. This one will attempt access to your social network followers and friends, then start contacting them with spam, or mal-ware ridden links and urls. Worse, even this category also includes the "STALKERS" - those using the new technologies for nothing but bad, robbery, rape, murder, extortion, etc. This one will frequently site another one of your social media pals as reason for them to be accepted by you.

What to do about them? Well, it kinda depends on the way they operate. If they're out there to destroy your reputation as a company, you will have all sorts of options to deal with them, legal matters, lawsuits or plain out right beat the livin' parc out of them.

If they just bother you, in - let's say a social networking site - don't be afraid to 'unfriend them'. You will probably bombarded with questions like 'why did you unfriend me, don't you like me any more?' pretty soon followed by hate-mail and other stuff. But who cares...

Stalking is a whole different story though. It's against the law in most civilised countries. Go here for some more information.

Rule #1 still seems to be: DNFTT and if you were paying attention reading this, you know what I mean. Happy socializing!

Further reading:
The Wikipedia page on Trolling.
The Martialist on Troll defence.
Defence and Trolls used in modern warfare.
Team Technology on Troll defence and detection.
Fox News article about Internet Identity Protection.

// Jan

Purse

2011-08-19T21:27:00.000+02:00

When I go to my work, and going back home from work I use public transportation. It's fast, cheap and I don't need to search for a parking space in the mornings. I can read the free morning newspaper that's often found in the tram, doze of for a little bit, play with my cell or just peoplewatch. Pretty cool.

And - like always and everywhere - cell phones ring and people answer them. On one of those little trips to work I observed the following scene: 'A' girl, by herself, sitting in front of me in the tram, about two benches away. 'A' cell rings (Volume set to: 'Steelworkers' mode). A semi popular ringtone on full blast wakes everyone up. Completely. She reaches in her purse in a futile attempt to find it. HER CELL. And it's ringing on full blast. It seems like hours pass by and finaly she finds it. She opens the personalized pink clam shell type phone and shouts 'Hello...' with a voice that's capable of breaking 2 inch thick bullet - proof glass.

The person on the other end hung up. He or she got tired of waiting all that time. I can't blame him or her. Anyways, she puts the phone back in her purse. Time for me to doze of a little again...

I am just wondering what's in a girls purse. What do they think they need to bring everywhere, can't live an hour without. What's in there? I can think of some things, like a wallet, ID card, cigarettes a lighter and that's about it. Uhm NOPE!

Sometimes I just make things up, just to make it sound better, but I did some research on the internet. I found this picture and it shocked the holy cajamboos out of me...

Now, what's in that purse? Notebooks, blue and black, a piece of paper, a HP cell phone, a First aid kit, a pen, crayons, an eraser, a sewing kit, a watch, a leather pouch, a flashlight, another cell phone, a key ring, dental floss, a USB stick, 4 AA batteries, a bag, filled with little plastic animal figures (!!!), a bag containing stuff that should be kept secret (Tampons, pads, condoms), chewing gum, mints, another watch, some pieces op paper, cigarettes, a lighter, another key ring, a nail-file, another cell, an extention cord and a wallet. One could argue there's still some important stuff missing like make-up, an umbrella, a foldup shopping bag, a can of mace, starter cables and the kitchen sink... I bet the owner of this purse is prepared for just about anything. MacGyver could make a EMP device with all that stuff.

I don't know, but I don't want to be found dead with that much stuff on me.

Confession time. I have a backpack. When I go to work it normally holds: my lunch, my ID, my health insurance card, tobacco, a lighter, a light raincoat, a pen, my bankcard and that's about it.

My cell is stuffed in my pants right front pocket and it's set to vibrate (Bzzzzt), coins go in my front left pocket, bills in my left back pocket and my tramcard goes in the right back pocket. Done, that's it...

Am I well organized? Nope. But a girl seems to be better prepared. For ANYTHING.

// Jan

Ranting. Helpfull?

2011-08-16T06:57:00.002+02:00

Sometimes... You just want to throw your hands in the air and give up. Sometimes you'll have a day at work where things have to been done 'yesterday' and you can't take the risk of a whole project going down the drain, because everybody you're working with is in 'zonked out' mode. I mean... a sigh - sometimes - or maybe the occasional yawn doesn't hurt anyone, but plain acting if you don't care *at all* is definately a BIG no-no. Like I said, things have to be finished yesterday and that means today is to late. I work my butteroonies off and I expect the same from everyone else, darnit.

A good rant? Now I come to think over it, I'm beginning to believe there might be something good about a good, hartfelt rant.

What is a rant? Mirriam-Websters has this to say about the word 'Rant':

Definition of RANT:intransitive verb1: to talk in a noisy, excited, or declamatory manner2: to scold vehemently
Examples of RANT “You can rant and rave all you want,” she said, “but it's not going to change things.” He ranted that they were out to get him. The origin of RANT obsolete Dutch ranten, randen First Known Use: 1601

Well... I'm Dutch. :). Oh, so now I'm supposed to be a rant expert, huh? Ok, here's my own RANT FAQ.

Q: When is the best time to rant?
A: There is no such thing as 'the best' time to rant. Ranting should be a spontaneous thing. The best rants just come from nowhere.

Q: Should I warn people that I'll be ranting?
A: NO. Earlier I said, that ranting should be a spontaneous thing. Warning your audience up front will give them time to run away, hide or jump from the nearest window to escape. The element of surprise is one of the most important things about ranting.

Q: What should I rant about?
A: You can rant about just anything that pops in your mind. The weather, your spouse, the stock market, the governement, your boss, Microsoft, your dinner, ranting, WallMart, a waiter, the quality of the seawater... Anything. Oh... Did I mention the weather?

Q: Are there things I should avoid when I'm ranting?
Just remember to stand clear from any expensive stuff around you. While gesturing you might toss over that megabuck Chinese vase worth half a million buckaroonies. Careful.

Q: Can I practice my ranting techniques?
A: A good place to practice is in front of a mirror. You should pay special attention to facial expression, stamping your feet, rolling your eyes and flapping your arms. If you feel uncomfortable while ranting, you're not trying hard enough.

Q: Is there a book 'Ranting for Dummies' available?
A: Not that I know off... There are some titles available in the better book stores, but nothing about ranting. Yet.

Found this title, but that's strictly for use in the Netherlands. It's about Facebook (DUH). I know, because it says so on the cover. I #@&amp;*#! said I could not find one about ranting...

If there will be new developments about the technique (some even call it the art...) of ranting I might consider updating this page. IF I feel like it AND have time. No promises.

For now... Happy ranting and may Rantoblivion - (the God of the sacret rant) - be with you. May your life be rantalicious for many years to come!

// Jan

Old?

2011-08-14T01:05:00.002+02:00

Yup, it's getting close to that time of year for me. That time of year you feel like you're getting in contemplation mode, the time of year that - when you were really young - took so long to arrive. It's getting close to my birthday. Again. Well it feels that way anyways, because as far as I know I just had my previous birtday a couple of months ago. Heh.

When you are younger, *that* time of year - your birthday - just seems to never come. Now, it's the other way around.

It's not that I *really* dread that, my birtday coming up, but it kinda sorta feels like it's to soon? Know what I mean? Maybe it's just me.

So what is a birtday really. As very often I search the ole (yeah, here we go...) internet. Wikipedia gives the following description:

A birthday is a day or anniversary where a person celebrates his or her date of birth. Birthdays are celebrated in numerous cultures, often with a gift, party or rite of passage. Although the major religions celebrate the birth of their founders (e.g., Buddha's Birthday), Christmas – which is celebrated widely by Christians and non-Christians alike – is the most prominent example. In contrast, certain religious groups, as is the case with Jehovah's Witnesses, express principled opposition to the very idea of celebrating birthdays

Well, as we - internet users from rhe time of the dinosaurs - all know. 'The internet is always right'. Ain't that the truth. :) And what I'm reading is the the whole deal is a celebration! Time to party, blow out candles, receive presents, the whole shebang. Groovy! Oh wait that sounded so seventies.

The thing I really don't like *at all* is those emails you start getting when you get to a certain age. 'You know you're getting old when you...' followed by a whole list of things I should know about. Eighttrack? I never owned one, but I know what it is. I even know someone younger then me who actually owned one. Pfft, call me old?

I read this quote the other day on the internet and posted it on my Facebook wall. 'The idea is to die young as late in life as possible.'. Got it? Do you need to write that down? :)

I like that idea. Stay young inside, your soul, at heart, every way wich possible. And you know what? I am not the only person on this little rock in space that will be celebrating their birthday on August 30th. Approximately 1/365 of the whole earths population will have their birthday the exact day as mine. That's 19,337,016 people! And... I found out I'm in pretty good company there. Some of the people that share their birtday with mine are shown here. You still want some more? Here it is.

Now... Find out who you are sharing your birthday with. You'll figure out how. You're smart and young in heart and soul. You're using the INTERNET!.

Next time we'll talk about, 3D movies, Google+, Hacking Facebook, 4G phones, Chromebooks, Cloud Computing, Tablets, i-Pads, i-Phones and other new nifty thingies and stuffies. Old? The devil is old. :)

// Jan